Tuxedo Dionysus/NC-Janitor

The Evolution of a "Nameless" Janitor
by Tuxedo Dionysus
^^;

        Back in the (relatively speaking) Early Days of the Otaku Wars!,
OW! had entered it's second season called "Otaku Wars! R".  Obviously
a pun on the second season of Sailor Moon.  The poster of a.f.s-m known
as Mordenkainen began reading the cryptic posts labelled with the
dreaded "[OW!R]" tag.  They were interesting, although sometimes it
was difficult to follow the stories contained within.  At first he
was content to read posts by friends as they struggled along trying
to make a name for themselves.

        After a month or so, he had noticed a disturbing pattern people
were following regarding one particular newbie poster.  The Similarian,
author of the Darkmoonian Prince Sapphire, was continuous ignored by
the others due to his poor writing/formatting skills.  He tried his
best, but he was never given a chance...  Then one night, while
guzzling more caffinated beverages than a wizard should after midnight,
Mord finally decided to join the Otaku Wars! as well.  However, he
wanted to do more than that.  He also decided to help the Similarian
by invading his base when he started. :)  After emailing Similarian
about the plan, and gaining approval... he sat down and wrote his first
post...

        But what to name his character?  Without a doubt, he KNEW this
unknown character would fight to prove Minako was the best senshi, and
he also wanted to make sure he wouldn't burn out of ideas quickly.

        At the same time, Mordenkainen was -way- too sleepy to even
think up a name.  That's why he was open to suggestions, no matter how
they came to him.  It was between 1-3am in the morning, and he was sitting
at a computer in the Computer Lab of the school he was attending. (They
leave it open VERY late for the benefit of those who need the extra time
to finish projects, etc. :)  What sort of help could POSSIBLY show itself
at that hour?!

        Then the door opened, and a member of the janitorial staff walked
in to sweep up the floor.  *BING*  What if this Otaku Warrior was undercover
as a spy!  He could be sneaking around the Darkmoonian Base disguised as
a janitor!  Why, he'd be called The Janitor for now!

        And so, for the first few months of his career, Tuxedo Dionysus
was running around simply as The Janitor. *sweatdrop*

        It was during the fighting on the Dark Crystal that the
Non-Continuous counterpart of this newbie began to show himself in OW!
posts marked with the scary, but humourous "[NC]" tag.  In fact, he
went so far as to run for the office of President of Otaku World with
the NCP (Non Continuity Party) along with his sidekick, NC-AW.  This
NC-Janitor, who was trapped in the NC Realms like everything that had
no effect on the Continuity of Otaku World, didn't win the elections,
but DID come in second place with 7 votes. (Ahead of the Mass Destruction
Party of Cape-Mike at 4 votes. :)  Thus, he and NC-AW became the
Official Opposition, whose job was to tell SuperSteve that he was doing
a horrible job as President as the following excerpt shows:


Frank wrote:
>Steve eating a ham sandwich wrote:
>> Mallard wrote:
>>         "Health care!" shouted SuperSteve as he swung open the door,
>> letting his suitcoat flap in the frigid breeze.  "Ah, Mallard,
>> how's it going?"
>> 
>>         The duck lay motionless on the floor.
>> 
>>         "Nurse, this medical service will not do!  Bring in the big
>> stuff."  As she dashed out of the room, SS winked at the camera.
>> "Health care!" he shouted again.
>> 
>> < http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Ginza/7825/pres.htm scene switch>
>
> The Artemesian Warrior strolled into the room. 
> "Congratulations on your win, SS" said AW as he stuck out his hand.
>
> "Why thank you!" smiled SuperSteve as he vigourously shook AW's hand.
> "What brings you here, oh two-bit lackey of the opposition?"
>
> "I just wanted to say that you're doing a horrible job in the health
> care area. See, in NC we could have a nice quick fix!" AW waved his hand
> and Mallard was healed, wearing Speedos on a tropical beach. Also
> wearing Speedos were SuperSteve and the AW. 
>
> "You call this a nice fix?" said Steve as he grabbed some palm branches
> to cover himself. It wouldn't do for the leader of the free Otaku World
> to be caught on film nearly naked. Mallard dove into the water in
> embarrasment, where he was soon joined by the AW.
>
> "Who the hell are you?" quacked Mallard. "And why'd you put us in
> Speedos?" 
>
> All the AW could do was sweatdrop and offer a weak politician's smile.
>
> "I know return you all to your regularly scheduled post..."
> Later
> Artemis

        *coughs* Anyway, needless to say, this was all in NC, so
The Janitor (aka Tuxedo Dionysus at a later date) had nothing to do
with it.

        Meanwhile, The Janitor had finished cleaning up the Darkmoonians
with the help of Artemesian Warrior, Sailor Kydria, and Tenchi's help.
Rooks had appeared as well, but everything was practically finished
by the time he managed to arrive on the Dark Crystal.  As they sped
away from the Darkmoonian base, they had pondered ideas of what they
were going to do next.  AW and SK had decided to build a Casino and
rake in the cash.  While The Janitor was thinking of joining him, it
was here that The Brainwashing Era began for him.

        After the Spice Caravan landed, The Janitor was distracted by
some Minako Merchandise scattered along the ground!  He picked it up and
went no sooner than he had it pocketed did he find another piece!  It
was almost as if he was being lured into a trap.

        He didn't notice anything wrong when at the end of the Trail of
Goodies he found (someone posing as) Belldandy from Oh My Goddess!  While
The Janitor is a Minakochanian, the Author is also a Bellchanian. :)

        Needless to say, he wasn't able to resist her woos when she lured
him to sit in the side car of her motorbike... and slammed the dome
cover over it, trapping him inside.

        The Belldandy Imposter was an OSDFer by the name of Sailor Zeo.
For some strange reason, she had decided to kidnap The Janitor, wipe his
Minakochanian memories from him, program him as an Endymionsamaian type,
with the added effect that he would be something akin to a slave with
eyes only for his "Zeo-sama"!

        She dressed him up in a blue tuxedo and gave him the name,
Dionysus.  She programmed all of this into her brainwashing, and kept
the copy of all the newbies memories on a zip disk.  To test him out,
she decided to sneak into Nightman's Party that he was holding for
everyone. (An event that almost everyone arrived to.)

        To avoid detection, the blue-suited Tuxedo Dionysus was advised
to go undercover, so he quickly changed into a suit he obtained by
beating the snot out of a nearby nameless otaku.  After gearing up,
he was a totally convinced he would be able to pass unnoticed as a
janitor. ^^;;;;;;

        He kept wondering why everyone kept walking up and talking to
him like they knew him.  People like the Artemesian Warrior for instance.

        At any rate, he remained in this brainwashed state until AW and
TD met once more outside the Celestial Temple of the Moon.  The AW had
somehow obtained the Zip Disk with TD's memories on it, and after a long,
drawn out battle, managed to return the information on it to TD by
cracking it over his head.  Sailor Zeo was knocked unconcious during
the fight and remained that way for many months.

        This is where TD's memories had returned to him, and he finally
remembered his old friends.  His tuxedo had changed from blue to yellow
and has remained that way ever since except for a few small instances.

        After regaining TD's memories, they travelled around in the
Spice Caravan for a while looking for something to do, messing up Wal-Marts
and attacking the OSDFers Nyagachillios and his band of Next Generation
OSDF.  At one Wal-Mart, he found a defective Luna-P Sphere similar to
the one Chibi-Usa use to run around with.  It's only defect was that it
was painted white instead of black.  He tore off the lying tag and called
it by it's rightful name, a Artemis-P Sphere. :)  It generally floated
around with him everywhere after that.
        
        It wasn't until TD and the others attended the wedding of
NeoAmi-chan and Ryu did they see the true powers of the Artemis-P
Sphere.  A fight against the OSDF broke out after the newly weds left
the scene and the Minpirians weren't doing quite so well.  In an act of
desparation, TD exclaimed "Arty-P, I want a Space Station!" and sure
enough, the bugger grew to an enormous size and rose into the sky!
The Artemis-P Space Station was born!

        Shortly after this, the Minpirians launched the Nefarious Plan
into action, brainwashing all the nameless otaku on Otaku World into
worshipping Minako.  The OSDF launched more assaults on the Minpire's
new station.  Some were successful, some weren't.  Finally TD got
pissed enough to take the fight to them as they fled to the surface.
He found a Minakochanian Guardian in the docking bay, and used it
against them!  It was like shooting fish in the barrel, he even scored
a direct hit on Jarlad, one of Nyagachillios' OSDF:TNG men, with
the ditz cannon.  Jarlad was Minako&Hotaruchanian ever since.

        Getting back to Tuxedo Dionysus, however, The Brainwashing
Era was not completely over.  It became more and more obvious to AW
that while TD had his real memories regained, he was still brainwashed
by Sailor Zeo.  The brainwashing was essentially fighting with the
Minakochanian Tendancies for dominance over the body.  Which was fine
as the MT pretty much prevailed.  The only difference was that TD
apparently had no interest in women anymore, save Sailor Zeo, which
he had no time to see.  Silly reprogramming eh?

        There was no time to do anything about this, as the Minpire
was assaulted by Nyagachillios' new starship and the Artemis-P Space
Station was blasted out of the Sky... Tuxedo Dionysus on board!

        Luckily for TD, a newbie had joined the Wars! at just this
time, one Star Flower.  She apparently had a crush on the Minakochanian
Faction Leader from the start, and saved his life by shielding him with
her powers as the Arty-P crashed and sunk into the Generic Anime Ocean.

        TD, however, hadn't noticed her affections.  A side effect of
the brainwashing had made him rather dense about these things, which
disappointed Star Flower.

        Later still, after a month or so of repairs, The Artemis-P
Space Station was ... well, still underwater.  However, this served
as a potent Enemy Discourager. :)  Nobody ever attacked the station
at this point in history.  Being miles underwater, however, made
the use of transporters very limited, so the main base of power
for the time being was switched to the TARROT Base.  A landing
strip for the Minpire Airforce run by Brutus. (Now destroyed.)  AW's
Arty's Casino was also a popular place for the minpire to gather.

        It was around this time, when a group of Amichanians decided
to go collective.  They formed a network of Amichanian Borg at the
Amichanian Recruitment Center. (ARC)  The ARC itself was in fact
an AmiBorg Cube, and after much planning and assimulation, took off
for greener pastures.  The Minpire decided to test out their new
collection of One-Two Man fighter mechs (Minakochanian Guardians
plus other more advanced models) against something.  The floating ARC
was a perfect target for the Minpire Swarm.

        While on the Cube, TD was assimulated into the collective
but was saved by a freak situation.  The remaining Brainwashing had
fought off the Borg's attempt to assimulate him into a common drone.
Using this link with the collective, TD was able to reprogram some
of the AmiBorg to worship Minako. :)  Although it was difficult to do
any lasting damage.  After a hockey game (Don't ask), the Minpire
retreated with Rooks, whom they had regained from the Shogunate.

        So now TD had two different external influences hindering
his ability to worship Minako.  One Amichanian in nature, the other
Endymionsamian/OSDF.  But this wasn't the worst of it.  A few weeks
later, while TD was resting up at Arty's Casino, on a particularly
busy Night, Dark Glen of the Darkmoonians came hunting for revenge.
Luckily for him, the crowds were so huge that he was able to go
unnoticed and he found TD alone near the darts tables.  After a
rigged Darts game, TD had lost.  Of course, TD attacked Dark Glen anyway
but not before DG showed him his latest power.  The Demon Sword's
new ability to Evilize Otaku!  TD tried to resist the Evil nega-energy
but for some reason proved unable to overcome it!  He was brainwashed
into Evil Dionysus... The Darkmoonian.

        At some point in all of this, Prince Sapphire had accidently
summoned someone to Otaku World in his mad experiments... He had
summoned NC-Janitor from the NC-Realms, into Otaku Wars! Continuity!
The horror. :)  NC-Janitor, while purely a Minakochanian, didn't
hang around with other Minakochanians often.  Instead, he used his
omnipotent powers to welcome Newbies to the wars!  He also used it
to bug Speedie and Kane Magus in the No Faction Resort where he
loitered constantly, even chibifing himself so he could pose as one
of the seven seishi of Chibi No Miko. (Chibi-Speedie)  

        DG used ED to attack several other groups of Otaku, including
Sprite's temporary base. (Which happened to be a huge Sprite Can. ^^;)
The first ever wrestling event had begun, started by Hiryu (who didn't
attend) and ED had fought against AW and others there.  ED was
hit with Ditz Beams, trying to fight off the Evilization powers of
DG, but DG tried strengthening his own hold over the otaku by
hitting him with more Evilization energy.

        During this time, a strange thing occurred on the Arty-P
Space Station that was still under the Generic Anime Ocean.  All
repairs had been finished long ago, but the main power core had
refused to come back online.  While Skuld was slaving away with it,
the powerlevels suddenly jumped and the controls went to remote
control.  Then, with methods still unknown, The station floated
up out of the sea and rose back into orbit.  It then powered up
it's main Ditz Cannon and fired it on the surface... Exactly at
Evil Dionysus.

        This added boost cured TD of the evilization energy, but
the victory was short lived.  Dark Glen jumped into one of the
unattended Minakochanian Guardians and fired on TD... vaporizing him.

        AW went crazy and kicked the crap out of DG, but DG got
away anyways. :)  For many weeks, TD was gone, and the Minpire
Leadership was passed to Brutus because he was a kickass fanartist
that drew lots of Minakochanian Art. =)

        Then, one night at the long abandoned wrestling site, a
dark light sparked into existance and glowed with a sickly dark
hue.  From the surrounding area, particles were attracted to the
light and flew to it.  The end result was that of a blob of grey
material that eventually reformed itself into the form of...
Evil Dionysus!

        Evil Dionysus then witnessed the Omnipotently Evil Attack
caused by releasing the Sacred Tidbits by Gamma, and before he
knew it, he was attracted to the android's evil aura.  ^_^

        *coughs*  Anyway, after that, not much happened due to
various Author Problems.  Mord had left the Wars! at that point
to study for Finals for example while Euclid had developed a
bad wrist problem preventing him from participating in the Wars!

        The period after this, is a blur...  Most likely because Mord
had suffered a major case of both Writer's Block and Writer's Burnout.
The only major thing that can be remembered off the top of the head
from this period was NC-Janitor's successful (but shortlived) takeover
of the No Faction Resort.  Mordenkainen wrote himself into the Wars!
for the first time to convince NC-Janitor that if he took over the
resort, he'd be able to have all the donuts and soft drink for himself.
NC-Janitor gladly betrayed Kane and took over the resort with the
help of NC-Tom for more donuts.  He used a small, mutant, Venus Fly
Trap to help him capture the other endymionsamaians.

        In this later period, Tuxedo Dionysus had somehow purged himself
of the Evilization once more and later on, had discovered his TRUE
origins during the OAV, Discontinuous Continuity.  He was weak vs
NegaEnergy for two reasons.  One was, he had no soul. ^^;;  Apparently,
he was not just some simple janitor like he originally believed.  He
was a powerful shapeshifter called (Big Coincidence here really)
DIONYSUS!  He fought for Minako a long time ago until in a particular
battle against Prince Sapphire, he was defeated and taken prisoner.

        At this time, the darkmoon prince had used his mad scientist
techniques to try to turn TD into a powerful Darkmoonian General.  Someone
to assist Dark Glen essentially.  To do this, he had to remove the one
element of the Minakochanian that was fighting the Darkmoon's NegaEnergy.

        His soul.

        Using some high tech device, Sapphire did just that.  He ripped
Dionysus' soul from him and cast it adrift into the NC-Realms!  In the
realms of NonContinuity, the soul developed a personality against all
laws of continuity (which didn't hold there) and absorbed vast amounts
of NC power.  It became... NC-Janitor.  A being more NC and more
omnipotent than even the most omnipotent NC Being that resided there
normally.

        However, while he was brainwashed after having his soul ripped
from his body, the puddle of gue called Dionysus was in Sapphy's Secret
Lab waiting for the next day of testing when Prince Sapphire had
accidently left the computer on.  It is not certain how, but it was
viewing the stats of the Minpire as it stood.  The prince must have
been studying his enemy and how to best employ his new minion against
them.  At any rate, something sparked in the shapeshifter known as
Dionysus.  The image of Minako was on the screen...  He liked what he
saw, and found his way out of his 'cage' so he could access more about
this goddess.  After so many hours of pouring/drooling over Minpirian
information, a nameless otaku entered into the lab dressed in brown
coveralls and a broom.  This otaku had a black baseball cap on that
read "Go Venus!".  It also looked (Total Coincidence here too >_>)
almost identical to Dionysus himself before he was captured!!

        Not really caring about this, The shapeshifter turned to the
NO and instantly morphed into an exact copy of the helpless otaku.

        "By Minako!" The NO shouted, he wasn't expecting like this on
his spying mission.

        "Minako..." Dionysus replied, having no memories of himself
prior to being caught.  He advanced on the poor NO and began strangling
him... no witnesses.. >_>

        "No! Don't!" The NO cried again then tried to lie his way out
of his situation, "I'm the janitor!"

        "I'm The Janitor." Dionysus mimicked, then tossed the NO down
a garbage chute, into space.  He then finished reading up on the
Darkmoonian's information database and left the lab quickly, posing
as a harmless Darkmoonian Janitor.


        The rest is, as they say, History. ^_^



--
Tuxedo Dionysus