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From: Mord&Kane ^_^ <aplummer@netmcr.com>
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Date: Tue, 23 May 2000 22:39:37 -0400
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Subject: [OW!][OM2K] "Prelude to the Main Event" or "Contracts were made to be  bent"
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<A couple of hours later, during which the Chibi Security Squad were
able to cut down the hapless Suzuran and Chibiusa ^_^>

        The audience was going wild at Otakumania as the fated match
between The Rost and Cape-Mike hovered only moments away.  Signs
telling the Rost to eat it, and Cape-Mike to blast it swayed in the
crowd and dominated the lesser signs dedicated to the other participants
of Otakumania.

        [Crowd Sign: Cape-Mike's the most ELECTRIFYING man
                                         in otaku entertainment! ]

        "Introducing first, as the Special Guest Referee," LeVar
began announcing from the center of the ring, "Kane/Chaos!"

        The boos were deafening.

     < http://www.otakuwars.org/~kane_magus/Kane.wav >

        The lights dimmed to a dull bloody red as spooky organ
music began to  play over the loud speakers.  Though a few of the
more astute members of the audience knew what was coming and
tried to get as far away from the entrance to the stadium as possible,
most of the crowd continued to boo and chant mindlessly.  Thus, the
first few rows of nameless otaku joined the ramp as it burst into a
wall of flame.  Electric guitar began to flow from the speakers as
Kane/Chaos made his way through it and down toward the ring.  As
he climbed through the ropes, the lights went back to normal.
Chibi-Youma could be seen standing off to the side, mulling over
what to do about the flaming mess.  In the end, he just decided to do
nothing since the whole place would probably go up before all was
said and done.

        K/C stalked to the center of the ring and regarded the unruly
crowd, which was still hissing and cat-calling.  He turned to LeVar and
stuck out his hand.

	"They don't pay me enough for this," muttered LeVar as he handed 
the microphone to K/C.

        "Gimme that." K/C growled as he snatched the mic away from the 
Amichanian.  He glared at LeVar until he left the ring.  He then turned 
to face the crowd.

        "Greetings Otaku!" K/C called over the crowd cheerfully, "And
welcome to the GREATEST wrestling event EVER!"

        Caught offguard, the gathered otaku began clapping with
confused expressions on their face.  They may hate Chaos, but they
had to admit, he said something that made sense...

        K/C grinned slyly as he began walking around the ring, "You've
seen the tension build between that SMOO Cape-Mik-"

        He stopped as they exploded into cheers at the mention of the
Makochanian faction leader.

        "And... that ASS known as The Rost!"

        He stopped again for a few minutes. "However!  I'm afraid that
as me as my witness, NEITHER of those pansies will be winning tonight's
match.  I'm sorry, it's true."

        [Crowd Sign: Help!  I'm being repressed! ]

        The boos began once more, much to K/C's amusement.

        "In fact!  I highly doubt either will be walking out of tonight's
match, unless it's FEET FIRST!" K/C cackled then shrugged, "Hey, I'm
Chaos, what the HELL are you going to DO!"

        He tossed the Microphone out of the ring, crushing the skulls of
five fans in the crowd as it skipped like a flat rock to water.

        [Fightin-Tron: 4] *DUH DUH*

        K/C turned quickly to face the Fightin-Tron.

        [Fightin-Tron: 3] *DUH DUH*

        [Fightin-Tron: 2] *DUH DUH*

        "Ugh... not now..." the chaosified Endymionsamaian groaned.

        [Fightin-Tron: 1] *DUH DUH*

     < http://www.otakuwars.org/~kane_magus/Nc-jan.wav >

        Suddenly, an electric guitar boomed over the speaker system
as yellow spotlights flooded the arena signaling the arrival of an
unexpected otaku.  K/C blinked in surprise, somehow having a feeling
who this was, and he sweatdropped when the singing began.  The rest of
the crowd was silent as they watched the entrance music continue, no
otaku walking out from backstage.

        Then, in a swirl of spaghetti and meatballs in yummy cheesy
tomato sauce, NC-Janitor was standing at the top of the ramp directly
below the Fightin-Tron (the bigass viewing screen) that simply read "NC"
in yellow letters on a red background.  Standing among the yummy, yet
now unsanitary food, NC-Janitor flicked his left hand quickly and a
Fisher Price Microphone appeared on command.  The carefree NonContinuous
Being was far from amused.

        "Chaos..." He began, "Shut.  The !Hell.  Up."

         The crowd exploded into cheers, except for the forty-seven
otaku who literally exploded from "indigestion".  This is the last
time the cafeteria would be serving beans at registered OWF pay-per-view
events.

        "I've been sitting back all these months watching you take
advantage of my good friend Kane's body." NC-Janitor continued,
"Watching you abuse him for your own purposes, watching you take
him away from his own goals of fighting for the doomed Endymionsamaians."

        "Hey!  He WANTED this!" Kane/Chaos growled back, "He willingly
allowed me to possess him in return for power!"

        "For his faction!!" The minakochanian spat, "Not for all this
crap you've been pulling!  But now, you see, you've gone and done
something worse...."

        K/C arched an eyebrow. "I didn't subscribe to Columbia House..."

        [Crowd Sign: 13 CDs for $1300 ]

        "No... but now you've gone and messed up Continuity.  You're
both here and in two different OAVs in progress, and have been for what
seems like an eternity."[1]  NC-Janitor took a second to pass his
FP Microphone to the other hand, "So, in the name of continuity, and
the Minpire... Tonight, in that very ring, at this very moment, you
will square off with me to determine who will be the special guest
referee at the Rost and Cape-Mike's match later tonight."

        "You can't do that!" Kane/Chaos shouted, "I've already been
signed on for the match!"

        "I can, and I have!" NC-Janitor replied, "Look at this part
right down here at the bottom of the contract you signed for this
match.  In fine, darn well near invisible print it says 'Contract
subject to change.'"

        "AARRRGGHH!!" K/C cried when he realized he'd been Vinced.

        "AARRRGGHH!!" NC-Janitor cried when he tried to run down to
the ring only to slip on the cheezy meatball sauce he teleported to
the arena with.

        Meanwhile, in the crowd, the Continuity Busters found
themselves watching the match in relative comfort.  Mainly because
SD-KM had tossed half of the nearby nameless otaku into plotholes
leading to Kane's underwear drawer while Aureal teleported the
other half to a Retirement Home where crabby geezers lectured on
and on about how they set cats and dogs against each other back
in the Good Ol' Days.

	Earlier, in their search for Dionysus, SD-KM had come up with 
the uncharacteristically brilliant idea of contacting the Arty-P to see 
if they knew where he was.  As it turns out, Skuld had spilled the beans 
about NC-Janitor's departure for Otakumania, much to the glee of SD-KM 
and to the horror of pretty much all the rest of the CBs.  Still, since
the little guy had all but dragged them there at gunpoint, they figured
they may as well enjoy it.

        Sprite had just returned with the refreshments the girls
had 'asked' him to get at the cafeteria and Tuxedo Zorro was
holding up his sign that read 'ENDYMION RULEZ!', periodically
turning it over so it read 'STOP LAUGHING!!'.

        Morgan didn't care much for Otakumania so he pretty much
just kept to himself and practiced writing poetry for his current
flame, Amara.  Occasionally he would look up from his paper to stare
at her with hearts in his eyes, only to have Aureal pound him
over the head with her staff for obstructing her view with that
'corny mist'.

        "How's the match going?" Sprite asked as he sat down and
began dividing up the booty.

        "They're just about ready to begin the fight once Dio-er,
NC-Janitor gets to the ring." Amara remarked.

        "But he's already in the ring." SD-KM blinked.

        Amara tore her gaze from where NC-Janitor lay face down in
spaghetti and looked over to NC-Janitor standing behind K/C in the
ring, obviously against even the most basic rules of continuity.
"Is this match a No Holds Barred match?" she asked.

        "I don't think so Amara..." Tuxedo Zorro replied.

        "Then why isn't there a referee?" Amara sweatdropped.

        *CRASH* Kane/Chaos flew over the top rope to the floor as
the NC One kicked him in the back of the head.

        K/C was picked up off the floor by NC-Janitor, who until a
few seconds ago had been lying face down in spaghetti.  He flashed
a V-for-victory to his counterpart in the ring.  NC-Janitor#1 held
K/C in a headlock while NC-Janitor#2 climbed to the top turnbuckle
and leapt off toward the entropic deity.  In mid fall, he summoned
forth a Large Blunt Object and used said LBO to knock K/C once again
to the arena floor.

        NC-J#1 returned to the ring while NC-J#2 picked up K/C and
rolled him into the ring as well.  While NC-J#2 climbed into the ring,
NC-J#1 had K/C bouncing off the ropes.  He tried for a clothesline,
but K/C grabbed said clothesline and wrapped NC-J#1 up mummy-like in it.

        Near the ring, the substitute commentators suddenly died of
mysterious heart attacks leaving the job wide open for anyone who
happened by.  Sitting directly behind the commentator's booth, Brutus
and Kobanal watched the two NO twitch for a few more seconds after
jumping out of their seats.

        "Perhaps we should have helped them..." Kobanal mused.

        "Never mind that, it's Showtime!" Brutus announced and
jumped to the table and put on a headset.

        Shrugging, the lupine followed the minakochanian to serve
as substitute substitute commentary.

        "Hey!  You can't do that!" NC-J#2 said to K/C.  "It
ain't fair!"

        "About as fair as you double-teaming me?" sneered K/C.
"Just so you know, you have officially pissed me off."  He picked
up NC-J#1 and, using him like a battering ram, rushed at NC-J#2.

        "Waagh!" waaghed both NC-Janitors as they were sent flying
out of the ring.

        Out in the crowd, SD-KM shoved a double handful of popcorn
into his mouth and said, "Hmm, the power of Chaos versus the power
of Non-Continuity.  This oughta be a kickass fight."

        Amara slapped him in the back of the head and said, "Don't
talk with your mouth full.  It's disgusting."

        "Sorry," said SD-KM, his mouth still crammed full of popcorn.

        A tomato hit him in the head followed by Brutus shouting up
from ringside, "KEEP IT DOWN UP THERE!"

        The crowd cheered some more.

        Meanwhile, back in the ring, the NC-Janitors had rallied and
were beating back K/C.  While K/C lay slumped in the corner, NC-J#2
moved to the opposite end of the ring and glanced at his partner, who
was standing in the middle of the ring.

        NC-J#1 gave a thumbs up and summoned down a huge-ass gun ala
War Machine from Marvel vs Capcom.  He pointed the business end at K/C,
while NC-J#2 climbed into the other end.

        #FWOOOOM#

        NC-J#2 was propelled at quite the velocity toward K/C.  At
the last second, however, K/C grabbed the ring bell and angled it
slightly upward.

        #GOOONNNGGG#

        NC-J#2 was reflected straight up, still moving at a fairly
good clip.  He left an appropriately NC-Janitor shaped hole in the
ceiling of the arena.

        "Now it's just you and me," said K/C darkly to NC-J#1.

        "Good," said NC-Janitor.  "I didn't want to beat you *too*
badly.  This'll make things a bit more fair for you."

        "Wooo, buuuurn!" Kobanal cackled at the jab. "Looks like the
big mean evil guy is going to cry!  What a wuss."

        K/C narrowed his eyes.

        "You think he'd know it's all an act by now." Brutus snickered,
"Who ever heard of matches being REAL in events like these."

        "Shush!  Look, look!  He's going to cry!!" Kobanal laughed.

        Foregoing wrestling completely, he simply blasted NC-Janitor
with a wave of pure Chaotic power.  Caught unaware, NC-Janitor was
hard pressed to throw up enough of a defense to keep himself from
becoming a smear on the wall.  As such, he was in little shape to
mount an effective counteroffensive.  K/C cackled evilly as he
continued to pour on the energy.

        "So I was wrong, sue me." Kobanal muttered, then handed a
five dollar bill over to Brutus' waiting hand.

        "You really should read the script." Brutus snickered.

        Aureal looked at her companions nervously.  "It... seems
like NC-Janitor is having a bit of a problem."

        SD-KM hmmed thoughtfully.  "It looks like we may have to
become involved ourselves."

        Before it came to that, however, yet another Otaku's theme
music(?) cranked up.

     < http://www.otakuwars.org/~kane_magus/piper.wav >

        "CHAOS!!!" called out a voice from just outside the entrance
to the arena.

        All of the Continuity Busters except for SD-KM looked around
in confusion.  SD-KM groaned in embarrassment.  "Oh geez."

        A high pitched, gravely voice said, "The time has come..." the
voice switched to normal, "...for me to do what I should have done
a long time ago!"

        SD-KM covered his eyes and said, "Please tell me he's not
wearing a leotard this time."

        "I believe you have something that belongs to *me* Chaos!"
finished Kane as he strode into the arena.  "Kantankerous Kane Magus
has come to give you an ass-whooping you will *NEVER* forget!  But first,
the obligatory trash talk...  Chaos, even if you'd been born twins, 
you'd still only be a half-wit!!""

        Tuxedo Zorro said, "No, SD-KM, he's not wearing a leotard."

        "Oh, really?" said SD-KM, who started to remove his hands from
his eyes.

        "Nope," Sprite snickered, "he's wearing a kilt."

        "Gaah!" said SD-KM, who promptly keeled over.

	K/C glared at Kane while still pouring it on NC-Janitor.  

	"Ok," shrugged Kane, "enough trash talk!"

        Kane rushed down the ramp and vaulted over the top rope.  He
barreled into K/C, effectively ending his bombardment of NC-Janitor.
Kane landed atop of K/C, pinned him to the ground, and began to beat
the living crud out of him.

        NC-Janitor watched for a bit, then sweatdropped.  "Uh, you
might wanna be careful there, dude.  That is *your* body you're
beating on, you know."

        Kane looked toward the Non-Continuous one.  "Hmm, you're
right," he mused.  This slight distraction was all K/C needed to
blow Kane off of him.

        "You insolent PUP!!" screamed an enraged K/C.  "I will teach
you once and for all what it means to defy me!!"

        "HEY!" Kobanal jumped up out of his seat, insulted.

        "Odd... That wasn't in the script.." Brutus mused.

        Kane stood next to NC-Janitor and struck a pose, the kilt
whipping in the wind.  "No, Chaos.  I am sorry, but you are mistaken."

        K/C tilted his head to the side and said, "Oh, really?  Care to
explain?"

        K/C felt a tap on his shoulder.  He spun around to see a newly
re-arrived NC-J#2 smiling at him.  "Not at all.  Knee, meet groin."

        NC-J#2 brought his knee up hard and slammed K/C with a
devastating low blow.  Despite being a god and all that, K/C doubled
over in pain because low blows really really hurt.

        "Hey!  Careful!" Kane shouted, "That's -my- body you're beating
up on!"

        "Sorry, I'll be more careful." NC-J#2 apologized.

        "Thank-" Kane started to say, but facefaulted as NC-J#2 and
NC-J#1 both pulled out their brooms and began slamming K/C across
the back.

        "AAH!" NC-J#2 yelped when K/C bit his kneecaps off in
desperation.

         "HEY! PLAY FAIR!" NC-J#1 growled as his clone rolled out of
the ring with his kneecaps in hand.  The remaining NC-Janitor lifted
his foot high to bring it crashing down on Kane/Chaos' head even as
Kane screamed "NOOOO!"

        "GYAH!" NC-Janitor gyahed when K/C pulled his remaining foot
out from under him and got to his feet.  "Your turn baldie."

        Kane gulped from where he stood defenseless on the top rope
as Kane/Chaos grabbed him. "Payback's a bitch!"  He threw the
Endymionsamaian half way across the ring.

        "AAAAAAHHHHH!" A group of Nameless Otaku screamed in the front
few rows.  For a few seconds... The kilt was up!

        K/C ran across the ring and drove his knee into Kane's chest
just to add to the pain, and then went for the pin.

        Silence.

        "..." K/C ...ed, "Never a ref around when you need one."

        "HEEYA!" NC-J#1 shouted as he slammed K/C across the back
of the head.  K/C rolled out of the way to get to his feet even as
the others started to get to their feet.

        "Just give up and admit defeat!" K/C growled, "I grow weary
of your childish tricks, and you can't DEFEAT AN OMNIPOTENT ENTITY!!"

        Kane stood next to NC-Janitor and struck a pose, the kilt
whipping in the wind.  "No, Chaos.  I am sorry, but you are mistaken."

        Kobanal groaned.  "Someone really needs to tell him that a kilt
just isn't his style."

        "Blegh," bleghed Brutus in agreement.

        K/C tilted his head to the side and said, "Oh, really?  Care
to explain?"

        "Well, you see," explained Kobanal, "wearing a kilt in a big 
drafty arena like this is a no-no because when the wind gets underneath 
the kilt it lifts and...."

        "Um, I'm talking to Kane here," said K/C, not even deigning the
substitute substitute commentator with a glance.  "Explain yourself,
toad!"

        "Ah, I see.  Sorry to interrupt His Majesty," muttered Kobanal.

        Kane nodded.  "Gladly.  You see, I am going to use the one force
that is more powerful than both your Chaotic powers and NC-Janitor's
powers of Discontinuity.  The one force that allows an author to make
vast sweeping changes to OtakuWorld, sometimes even in continuity, in
one broad stroke.  I am going to use the powers of OAV.  Somewhere
out there is an OAV in which you have been defeated for all time.  Wait
a minute...?  What's this?  Why I happen to have one right here!"

        Kane pulled out a piece of paper and began to read:

"[OW!][OAV]  The Death of Chaos

by Kane Magus

Chapter 1
----------

There once was an evil omnipotent being called Chaos.  But then he died.

The End."

        K/C stared at Kane in silence for a moment.  He held up his hand
and said, "Sounds like a hack job if I ever heard one."  A gout of flame
shot from his hand, burning the paper to ashes.

        Kane blinked.  "My... my OAV!!!  You bastard!  I spent *months*
on that thing!"

        "What can I say?" smirked K/C.  "That's why I'm the evil omnipotent
being and you're just the bodiless freak in a kilt."

        "You... you FIEND!  I will make you pay for that!" sobbed Kane.
"If I can't send you into my own OAV, I'll send you into another!"

        "Uh... I'm starting to think that might really be Chaos..."
Brutus gulped.

        "Eh.." Kobanal muttered, "Who's Chaos?"

        "A big bad evil type person who wants to end the Wars!" Brutus
explained.

        "Hms... keep pretending it's fake then." Kobanal instructed
his fellow commentator, "We can't worry the crowd or it'll be CHAOS here!"

        Brutus facefaulted, cracking the table slightly. "You're
mic is still on freak..."

        Kobanal remembered the headset he was wearing and sweatdropped.
"Oopsie?"

        Back in the ring, Kane turned to NC-Janitor and said, "Ok,
keep him busy while I do this."

        Kane turned his back to K/C and began waving his arms around.

        NC-Janitor sweatdropped.  "Me?!"  He turned to see K/C glowering
at him.  "Oh well, as they say, 'When in Rome...'"

        Kane/Chaos proceeded to mop the floor with NC-Janitor.  He drove
his head into the mat, he slammed him with tables, he slapped him, he 
kicked him, he threw pies in his face, he called him names and pointed 
out his mother's army boots!  NC-Janitor wasn't feeling very happy. ;_;

        "HEEYA!"  Kane/Chaos yelled, dropkicking the battered NC-Janitor
into the corner of the ring.  The chaosified body would take care of Kane
later.  First... NC-Janitor would DIE!

        Then a blue can fell into NC-Jan's outstretched hand.

        "Brisk Iced Tea!" K/C gasped, "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!!"

        "Editing mistake, IN my favor!" NC-Jan grinned nefariously 
then quickly gulped it down.

        K/C felt a tap on his shoulder.  He spun around to see a newly
re-arrived NC-J#2 smiling at him.  "Not again..." K/C whined.
NC-J#2 brought his knee up hard and slammed K/C with a devastating
low blow.

        "Hey!  What did I tell you about that!!" Kane shouted as he
began to open a swirly portal to parts unknown.

        "Sorry..." shouted NC-J#2 as he set K/C up on his shoulders.

        "...but you said to keep him busy!" finished NC-J#1 as he
leapt off of the top turnbuckle from behind K/C and NC-J#2.  Using
the clothesline in which he had previously been wrapped, NC-J#1
slammed K/C face first over the top rope and through a conveniently
placed table.

        "Ahahahahaaa, it's the 6D!" shouted Tuxedo Zorro gleefully.

        "The 6D?" asked Aureal.

        "The Dionysus Discontinuous Dumbass Deity Death Drop!!"
squealed SD-KM by way of explanation.  "Wooooo!!!"

        "You guys are having waaaay too much fun, you know that?"
sweatdropped Amara.

        "We know." Author Mordenkainen snickered next to Amara.  I
grabbed a handful of her popcorn and disappeared back to my seat at
the keyboard.

        "Like we haven't seen THAT move a million times in practice,
eh Freak?" Brutus nudged the lupine as they continued to berate the
OWF organization for the people watching at home, "To tell you the
truth, this isn't quite as much fun as I thought it would be."

        "Stop calling me Freak!" Kobanal growled, "But yeah, the
novelty of commenting on such a lame match is wearing thin."

        An idea struck the furry, "Have you ever heard of a 'Run In'?"

        "You mean where we wait until the right moment, posing as
commentary, then when the time is right, we run in and kick the
living crap out of whomever we don't like?" Brutus guessed.

        "Exactly!" Kobanal grinned sadistically.

        "Nope, never heard of one." Brutus replied, causing Kobanal
to facefault into the table, breaking it in two.

        "Hey!  My nachos!" Brutus protested as his tasty snack fell
to the floor.

        "Well, now you know what a Run In is." Kobanal recovered from
his facefault and rubbed his poor fuwwy head. "Just wait for my signal."

        In the ring, everyone at home missed Kane/Chaos diving against
the ropes for speed.  A second later, he double-clotheslined both
NC-Janitors painfully.

        "What about the table?" the Minakochanian asked as he ordered
some more nachos to be brought out.

        "Don't worry about it.  It wouldn't be a pay-per-view if the
commentators table wasn't destroyed at least once."

        [Crowd Sign: Kane, the only otaku man enough to wear pink! ]

         Finished with those two clowns, Kane/Chaos turned and blasted
Kane with a massive blast of chaotic power. "ARGH!" Kane yelped as
he fell back into the corner, only to be kicked repeatedly by K/C.

        "Kamehamhea!" a deep voice reached K/C's ears as he continued
to pound the living snot out of Kane.  He turned just in time to see a
bluish bolt of energy hit him full in the chest.  He staggered for a
second but recovered quickly.

        "WHO DID THAT?!" K/C growled as he stomped over to the other
side of the ring where the attack originated from.  On the floor near
the ring, Kobanal tried his best to whistle an innocent tune as he
rocked on his heels.

        "OOF!" the Chaosian groaned as Brutus pulled a Chyna and
played russian roulette with K/C's family jewels via a swift upward
jab from behind.  The possessed one collapsed quickly and the two
otaku quickly ran back to their commentator's table.

        Kane began to recover from the beating and noticed K/C
rolling around the center of the ring.

        "Now!" shouted Kane to the NC-Janitors.  "Help me get him into
the portal!"  The NC-Js nodded and grasped K/C by both arms while Kane
took him by the legs.  They began to rock him back and forth as they
prepared to pitch him into the portal.  After a few swings, they drew
back to finally throw him.

        "WAIT!!" screamed K/C in mid-throw.  "REMEMBER, KANE!  I AM
IN YOUR BODY!!"

        "Gahh!" shouted Kane, releasing K/C's legs too early.  "He's
right!  He still has my body!"  Unfortunately, the momentum was such
that K/C was still flung beyond the portal's event horizon.  As K/C
was slowly sucked toward the portal, he cackled madly.  "Even in
victory, you fools have lost!  By sending me back to the OAVs, you
doom Kane's body to destruction!  As such, a named Otaku will have
died!  I will snatch victory from the very jaws of defeat!
Bwahahahahhahaaaa!"

        "Not if The Rost has anything to say about it!" shouted
The Rost, who was standing at the top of the ramp leading down to
the ring.  "The Rost is tired of your candy ass coming out here
and interrupting The Rost show already in progress!  The Rost has
a match tonight and by damn The Rost is not going to let you ruin
it!  The Rost is going to put an end to your Chaotic ways once and
for all."  The Rost continued to glare at K/C but pointed at Kane
and finished, "Simply put, The Rost is going to slap the toast out
of his ignorant mouth!"

        That said, The Rost ran down the ramp and performed The
Senshi's Music Drop on K/C as the crowd went wild.

        He ducked, rolled, and took his place next to Kane and NC-Janitor.

        A slight crack.  K/C looked down at himself in horror.  A
sickly light began to show in the crack that had formed in his chest.

        "No!  This cannot be!  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhh!!"

        K/C's eyes rolled up into his head and he slumped over,
unconscious.  However, the scream could still be heard as a small
floating piece of toast rose from the body.

        "Mark my words!  You have not seen the last of me!" shouted
the piece of  toast as it struggled futilely against the pull of the
portal. "As long as War! exists...  so shall Chaos!!"

        "Whatever." NC-Janitor muttered and slammed his fist into
the mat. "Continuum Shockwave!"

        A golden pillar of energy shot up from the ground in front
of NC-Janitor, followed by another identical pillar in front of it,
followed by yet ANOTHER pillar.  This process continued at a quick
pace, heading directly towards the spirit of Chaos and the body of
Kane Magus.

        When it reached Kane's body, the pillar of energy lifted it
off the ground and threw it clear of the portal into the crowd.
Chaos' spirit, still being pulled into the rift, shuddered at the
impact and began falling back even faster.

        Then the shockwave hit the portal.  It shuddered under
the energy attack as Kane cursed at NC-Janitor for being so stupid.
However, the portal's power 'hiccupped', sucking Chaos' spirit
through suddenly...

        "Waaaarrrggghhh!!"  And just like that, Chaos was gone from
OtakuWorld, hopefully back into the OAVs where he would be destroyed
forever.

        Unknownest to everyone and everything on Otaku World, the
portal was indeed damaged and had indeed malfunctioned.  Instead of
sending Chaos back into the past where he would meet an Unescapable
End at the hands of Nightman's OAV after receiving a Horrible Beating
at the end of Pook!'s OAV... he was sent ahead into the future.
A possible, unwritten future... Into an OAV called OtakuX.

        The portal collapsed in on itself after the Toasty One fell
through it, leaving only Kane and the NC-Janitors in the ring.  The
crowd was silent.  NC-J#2 vanished in a swirl of kraft dinner and
Kane stood up with the help of the remaining true NC-Janitor.

        "Welcome back dude." the Minakochanian greeted the leader
of pin cushions.  "So, tell me.  Have you always had this ability to
open portals to OAVs?"

        "Er, well..." said Kane.

        "If so, why did you wait until now to use it?"  NC-Janitor
crossed his arms in a patronizing manner.

        "Well... you know how it is.  Gotta wait for just the right
moment and all that.  I saw that on 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit'
so it has to be true."

        NC-Janitor pikued.  "Yeah, I gotcha," he said right before
bashing Kane with his sweatdrop.

        Kane looked around for a bit.  "By the way, did anyone
see where my body went?"

        "Hmmm..." said NC-Janitor, who suddenly got a Nefarious Look.
Kane, unfortunately for him, didn't notice as he continued searching
the crowd for his body.

        "Heh heh, I love foreshadowing," snickered NC-Janitor.

        "Pardon?" said a distracted Kane.

        "Oopsie, did I say that out loud?  Just ignore me," replied
an evilly grinning NC-Janitor.  He stuck his hands in his pockets and
whistled innocently.

        "Whatever," shrugged Kane, still looking for his body.

        "Here is your winner by utterly rubbing his opponent from
Continuity, and NEW Special Guest Referee at tonight's main event...
NC-JANITOR!!" LeVar announced over the speakers, causing the
crowd to erupt into deafening cheers.

        "Well, at least the Run In was fun." Brutus nodded as
Chibi-Youma and Aphrodite helped set up a new table for the two
substitute substitute commentators.

        "I suppose, but I have to wonder what Cape-Mike is thinking
about Chaos being defeated with the help of his opponent, The Rost."
Kobanal nodded, "Especially since the Caped One has always wanted to
be the one to destroy Chaos."

        "Why do you wonder that, do you suppose?" Brutus asked.

        "Because some idiot is telling me to on the headset."
Kobanal shrugged, tapping one of the earphones with his finger.
"He also says we're fired."

        Brutus laughed. "Little does he know we aren't on the
payroll to begin with."


TBC at the final match of Otakumania... Cape-Mike versus The Rost

--
Dionysus & Kane Magus


Footnotes:
[1] Nightman, Pook!... stop making us wait for the conclusions before we
storm your computers with pitchforks and floppy disks.[2]

[2] Pitchforks and Floppy Disks... sounds like a movie title.[3]

[3] This was written well before it was posted.  We apologize if
the conclusions have been either posted or siezed already.  If those
conclusions also threaten the continuity of this post, who cares?

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