From diont@cs.mun.caSat Nov 18 21:29:28 2000 Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 17:51:38 -0230 From: Dion Torraville Bcc: owsf2000@eudoramail.com Newsgroups: alt.fan.sailor-moon Subject: [OW!] Takin' Care of Business Just setting up for Otakumania. Sorry I won't be able to ruin your date K. -_^ The ideas, they just didn't flow lately, as this post will show. ^_^ Previously on Otaku Wars! * Amara and K are on a date. * A newbie plans to shrink the Arty-P to the size of a pill so Mamoru can swallow it. * Otakumania is near! Very near! * 'Mice' are dating for some evil plan. * This author was trying to catch up in OW! posts. And now... Up in orbit on the Artemis-P Space Station, Dionysus was taking a break from the whole CB plan currently on the go. He had been off of the station for several months and decided it was high time he checked in to make sure things were ok. "What the HELL is that stench!" Fish. Lots and lots of dead rotting fish. "WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!" TD shouted as he stalked the halls. Minakochanian officers and mechanics scattered at his approach. "I LEAVE FOR JUST TWO Mo... ehehehe... months... AND THIS HAPPENS!" He continued stalking until he reached the lounge where a Sailor Universe was entranced with the TV. "SU! Where did all the fish come from?!" No response. Curled up on the couch, SU continued to stare at the TV with sparkling eyes. "Sailor Universe?" TD asked, "Did you hear what I asked?" Still no response. Raising an eyebrow in curiousity, he walked around so he could see what was so important that it blocked out reality. He facefaulted at the non-commerical Mamoru "channel" playing. Apparently, somehow her entire collection of Mamoru videos was being continuously replayed. "The heck if I'm going to be the one to disturb her." TD sweatdropped and pressed a communicator, "Skuld. What happened here while I was gone?" Skuld was still down in Central Core working on the special project Dionysus assigned to her after he left the station. "I've been rather busy with the Continuity Sphere we beamed aboard over a month ago." "Oh that thing." Dionysus blinked, "How goes it?" "It's been slowly growing over the last few weeks." The goddess replied as she ordered a few of the technicians around, "It seems to be feeding off of some sort of energy source, but we haven't been able to isolate it just yet but we have some ideas." "I'll be down in a bit." TD nodded, "I want to know why the station is overrun by dead, smelly, rotting fish." "Is it?" Skuld sweatdropped, "I've been in Central Core most of the time working on this sphere... I even cleaned out the adjoining lab to convert it into my new quarters." "Oi oi..." TD sweatdropped, "Ok fine. I'll handle the fish then drop by Central Core." He walked out of the lounge, leaving the preoccupied purple and silver senshi to her Mamoru addiction. < DON'T TOUCH THAT!!! -Scene Switch > At the CBC, the janitor quickly pulled his hand away from the bottle of cleaning detergent he was about to pick up. Looking around for the source of the voice, but finally dismissed it as another random scene switch. Shrugging it off, he reached once more and grabbed it. Almost instantly, the bottle grew a massive maw and ate the hapless otaku whole. Shortly after, it burped then exploded from indigestion. < You were warned. -Scene Switch > A short while later, Dionysus reached the bridge of the Arty-P and slipped on a cod. That's right, a smelly, rotten cod! Cursing under his breath, TD tried his best to get to his feet but to no avail. "Computer! Why hasn't the fish been cleaned up yet?!" "Aquatic life forms were authorized by Minpirian entity." The computer replied. "And which Minpirian entity was that?" TD growled. "Minpirian entity registered as Dymion." the computer replied. "Location of Dymion?" TD sweatdropped. "Dymion is not currently on the Artemis-P SpaceStation." "Fine, set up an appointment for him to be neutered." TD snickered, "and dispatch crews to get this mess cleaned up!" "Acknowledged." In quick order, miniature robots popped out of ducts in the walls and began incinerating the spoiled food out of existance. As this was happening, TD sat back in one of the chairs facing the main viewing screen. Tapping a few buttons, he began reading messages from the Minpirian Spy Net. "Interesting." TD mused to himself. "Looks like there's been a bit of ruckus here on the Arty-P recently..." He clicked open a channel to Yvette and StarFlower on the StormLance.[1] "Yvette, is the StormLance functioning properly?" #Yep, we're running at full capacity.# the minpirian replied. "Then why didn't you intercept Sailor Earth before she attempted an attack on the station?" #Honestly, we thought she was suicidal# Yvette chuckled nervously as she sweatdropped. #We did a scan of her shuttle and it's schematics showed it wasn't a threat.# "Well... somehow she got on board." TD sweatdropped, "Next time just launch some fighters at oncoming enemy shuttlecraft." #Will do. Yvette out.# "That's one issue cleared up." TD mused as he swiveled his chair to a second view screen. "Now let's deal with this OSDF newbie that wants to shrink my baby down to pill-size." "Luke." Dionysus called up a minor, almost unnoticable junior pilot of the Minpire SpaceFleet. "Take your guardian and hunt down this newbie for me. I'm transferring the info down to cargo bay 1 now." #Will do.# Luke the Nameless Minpirian Pilot saluted stiffly then turned off his screen. "Now for Central Core." TD sighed. The OSDF Castle suddenly shuddered, causing the Vault Dweller to fall. Running to the window of his room, he saw the source. A lone white jet circling the skies flying the symbol of the Minpire. "Crap! How'd they find out about my plans so soon!" He cried, "I haven't even STARTED drawing the blueprints yet!!" The Venus Fly Trap on his shelf tried to look innocent. "Vault Dweller!" Boomed a voice from the Jet, "Prepare for Extermination for crimes against the Minpire!." "Like I haven't heard THAT one before." Vaultie snickered, then stopped... "Wait a sec... I -haven't- heard that one before." O_o He ran from his room to hide even as the jet, which had transformed slightly to have two legs and arms, smashed through the wall into his room. He dove into the hall even as blasts of ditz energy slammed into the nearby wall. Walking into the Central Core with a banana split, Dionysus ducked as technicians ran all over the place at Skuld's command. After looking around, he spotted her at a console near the sphere. "It grew THIS much?" TD blinked. The sphere had grown to the size of a wrecking ball. "Yep." Skuld replied, eyeing the dessert, "I've been keeping tabs on it, as it progressed. "I've notified Harold so he should be back eventually." TD nodded as Skuld continued, "I've also been working on refining our Ditz Energy Technologies. As you well remember, we had just discovered this technology when we launched the First Nefarious Plan years ago. It didn't deliver as much as we expected in the way of results, however." "Go on..." TD said between bites of ice cream. Skuld drooled a bit, "Er, anyway, it was mostly because of the way we used the technology that made it somewhat unreliable. We spread the beam out over the entire planet, effectively diluting the concentration." "But that was the only way to ensure we snagged every single otaku on the planet..." TD pointed out. "Perhaps that was the problem." Skuld exclaimed, "Which is why I've developed this!! The DITZ CHAMBER 2000!!!" She rolled out a large, rectangular chamber that had lots of buttons and switches and blinking colourful lights. "So what does this thing do?" "Glad you asked!" Skuld replied eagerly, "This does the exact opposite of what our satelite use to do in the first Nefarious Plan! It concentrates the dosage from the ditz beam onto whoever is trapped inside the chamber!" "Ooo, possibilities there..." TD nodded, "But how to test it..." Then he remembered OtakuMania, and one of the reports he recieved over the Spy Net. "Kane/Chaos is possessing KM's body right now... but Kane himself is running about outside... perhaps we can borrow' the body for our own purposes..." "You'd have to get Chaos out of the body first..." Skuld reminded him. "Not a problem." TD grinned Nefariously, then a yellow light engulfed him. Skuld jumped back in alarm, unsure what was happening. When the light died, NC-Janitor stood staring back at her, with the same Nefarious look in his face. "Not to worry dudette! We've got a plan!" And with that, he vanished in a swirl of ice cream. Skuld was in heaven. *_* TBC, At OtakuMania. ^_^ NC-Janitor Vs Kane/Chaos BE THERE. Or not. ^_^ Footnotes: [1] The authors of these two minpirians are currently MIA and have been for a while. Don't drag them into any major thread expecting them to be followed up. ;)