From diont@cs.mun.caSat Nov 18 21:18:02 2000 Date: Sat, 11 Mar 2000 14:07:28 -0330 From: Dion Torraville Bcc: owsf2000@eudoramail.com Newsgroups: alt.fan.sailor-moon Subject: [OW!][NS] The Ultimate Previously (Sorry about not including Rost and Company in the "previously". I couldn't remember the details of anything in that thread last night after midnight. ^_^;;) Otaku Times Volume 48, Issue 3 March 15, 2000 ----------------------------------------+--------------------------------- PIRATE SIGHTINGS! | TOP SECRET MAKOCHANIAN PLOT! | Throughout the week, Otaku young | Upon losing the elections to and old have been seeing Pirate | absolutely nobody, the Makochanians Wannabes running amuck on Otaku World! | have deluded themselves into One witness on the scene was quoted | thinking that they in fact won! as saying 'It looks to be another | minakochanian pl-aAAAGGGHHH!' When | On the IO-Omega, we asked our reporter caught up with Dionysus | Cape-Mike what he planned to do at a secluded shrine, he immediately | regarding the Top Secret Nightman exclaimed 'I don't know anything about | Discrediting Plan. His reply any pirates, but I'm sure Frank and | was a somewhat predictable. 'MWAHA Harold know what they're doing.' | HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA | HAHAHAHAHAHAH-cough-hack-BWAHAHAHA As a result, we advise Otaku young | HAHAHAHAHA-gasp-weez-hahaha-slump' to lock their doors and ground their | kids to save them from this unknown | Editor: The Makochanian Faction menace. We can only hope some light | Leader's quote may not be entirely is shone on this subject soon. As it | accurate as Leloni rammed our stands now... this stinks. | reporter's tape player down his | throat for being in a restricted ----------------------------------------+ area. OTAKU TIMES STAFF ON STRIKE!! | +---------------------------------- Starting yesterday, a large number | CHAOS LIKES ANARCHY of Otaku Times employees walked off the | job. When offered more money, they | After wiping his moist eyes, turned it down saying the strike wasn't | Chaos/Kane is saddened for a about money, but about how the | short time as he realizes that management seems to care more for the | his time on Otaku World must be company's precious Mobile Vans than | just about finished. the workers themselves. | | Farix reveals the fact that if Unable to come to a compromise, this | everyone ignores Chaos, he'll go issue was released by management alone. | away. Naturally, he failed to | ignore the Evil Villain to say | this to him. | ----------------------------------------+--------------------------------- MAKE SENSHI FAST! | Otaku TurnPike! | http://www.tripod.com/~LdyTokoz/owlink.htm Place 5 senshi in | self-addressed, stamped | For ALL your Otaku Wars! needs. envelops and mail them +------------------------------------------------ to the five people | SOROBAN CITY DECLARES MARTIAL LAW listed below. Then, | modify the list so | With the Anarchy win last week, Soroban City that you're on the | quickly instituted itself as a lawful city with bottom, send it | typically over-regulated laws and enforcement to as many gullible | with the help of pseudo-named robots controlled twits as you can, | by an early NegaTronic model computer. and WATCH those | senshi pour out of | Attempts to gain access to the city for your mailbox almost | further information regarding the city's new overnight! | official policy failed with the loss of two | Otaku Times Mobile Vans. Apparently, something #1 The Mord | evil is being planned there! 24 IamAtwit Road | A Tower, Malgoria +------------------------------------------------- MOR 345 2A6 | ORACLE KILLED IN MYSTERIOUS EXPLOSION! | #2 Korb | It was a sad day in the secluded shrine where Ruined Donor Party HQ | Great Oracle, Harvey the Hamster VII, perished in MiddleOf, Nowhere | an unfortunate explosion. After police investi- KOR 199 7Q8 | gations were complete, we asked the heart-broken | SD-KM how he felt to which he replied, 'I should #3 Sailor Universe | not have used so much gas! *sniffs* He would've Arty-P SS, Rm 900 | tasted so Go-mmph!' DeepIn, Space | ART 111 A1A | The senior warrior on the scene, Dionysus | of the Minakochanians, seemed shocked into a #4 NecroMercury | daze as he ignored our questions and muttered 13 Cemetary Avenue | 'mine, all mine.' over and over. Amara and BeyondThe, Grave | the other Otaku at the shrine simply blinked ZOM 666 Z4E | their eyes innocently and replied 'What | explosion?' #5 Dark Glen | 65 Buried Tunnel | Perhaps the worse hit by this tragedy was Inside, AMeteor | the old man who worked at the shrine. He had DAR 845 M0N | this to say: 'That rodent had it coming to him | eventually. If the explosion didn't kill him, -------------------------+ I probably would have. I had it with being Have you seen this Otaku?| charged 100 bucks every time I asked him if he | needed his cage cleaned. That's the problem O If you see Sprite, | with the Wars! these days. No respect. Why /|\ tell him to report | in MYYYY day, we treated our underlings with I^I to the Secluded | respect. None of this underhanded...' Shrine ASAP! *wuv* | (Continued Next Issue) -------------------------+------------------------------------------------- Discontinuous Continuity - The 5 Volume Boxed Set Read yours at a website near you today! http://www.tou.com/host/Mordenkainen/ ow!ch1.txt ow!ch2.txt ow!ch3.txt ow!ch4.txt ow!ch5.txt ow!ch6.txt ow!ch7.txt ow!ch8.txt ow!pro.txt ow!ch9.txt ----------------------------------------------------------------------------