From diont@cs.mun.caSat Nov 18 21:32:25 2000 Date: Mon, 19 Jun 2000 16:20:12 -0230 From: Kobanal Bcc: owsf2000@eudoramail.com Newsgroups: alt.fan.sailor-moon Subject: [OW!] The Creation of Minpirian Strike Senshi: Youthful Sailor ... Jake. "My youth...?" Sailor Jake pikued as ChibiThunder and Grandpa stood around the artificial Pool of Drowned Youthful Sailor Earth. "Hai hai, Earth-mama!" CT replied kawaiily. Sailor Jake blinked at the green spore. "Huh? Who's Sailor Earth?" "Ano... Aren't you...?" "I'm Sailor Jake." SJ replied, "And you're in big trouble unless you start explaining why you strapped me down like this!" She struggled against the straps on the recliner chair a bit, "And after I went and baked all those goodies too!" "It's rather simple!" ChibiThunder giggled as he blinked kawaiily at the ancient senshi. "I'm here as a representitive of the M&M Alliance." "Damn peanuts." Grandpa muttered, "You can never trust them with their sweet candy coated shells and those beady little ey-" *fwap* "Not those M&Ms Grandpa-papa." CT sweatdropped. "The Mako & Minpire Alliance! Over the last few weeks, we've been keeping an eye on your actions by request of Tuxedo Dionysus." "The Continuity Buster Leader?!" "No you sexy old bag, the Minakochanian Faction Leader!" Grandpa snorted. "Senile old geezer!" SJ glared back at the ancient Minakochanian. "Ano... Can we get back to business?" CT sweatdropped and stepped between the two old otaku. "Simply put, we want to enlist you into the Minpire." "Why should I serve a ditz?" SJ snickered. "Well, aren't you tired of your wringles wringles?" CT shuddered, "I've been slaving away at this pool of cursed wate- "CURSED?!" SJ yelped. "It's ok! It's ok, Jake-mama!" CT grinned nervously in a sickeningly cute way. "I've managed to set it up perfectly. When you douse yourself with these magical waters, you'll regain your youthful figure!" "I'll be young again?" "Yep yep!" CT agreed readily, "But unfortunately, we can't help out otaku that don't serve the M&M cause." "Soo..." "So, join us for the duration of our Nefarious Plan." CT continued, "We'll let you use the pool now, but you'll have to join us until our Great Nefarious Plan is finished. When your term of service is complete, it will be up to you if you want to stay on or leave." Sailor Jake weighed her options. She was getting on in years obviously, and this runt was offering something she had lost long ago. Also, her terms of service was for a limited time only and in that time, she would certainly gain valuable experience. (too lazy to change the reference.) > "EVERYONE, BRACE YOURSELVES!! THE DITZ CANNON IS FIRING AT THE > ARTEMIS-P!!!!" yelled Brutus over the intercom. The Ancient Senshi was shocked out of her mind wanderings as the lights flickered and died for a second as a great explosion rocked the room. "Oowie!" CT sobbed as he got back to his feet, "Switch to emergency power." Grandpa pressed a button on his remote and soon the lights returned to their normal brightness. Sailor Jake, however, continued thinking... What have the other factions done for her?! Her eyes narrowed at that. She had been ignored, or brushed off! What a way to treat your elders! Of course, there was the matter of Tuxedo Dionysus... he wanted her to join his faction, yet he was the leader of the Continuity Busters... a force that repeatedly laid the smack down on her wrinkled hide for violating continuity. It could be a trick... But then, what if it wasn't? Surely she wouldn't be ignored if she was with the M&M. "Ok... I'll do it." "YES!" Grandpa roared. "WAI!" CT agreed, and unstrapped Sailor Jake. "Now go ahead and jump in the pool to complete the deal! We're otaku of our word after all!!" Stepping up to the cursed Pool of Drowned Youthful Sailor Earth, SJ sat down by the side and slowly eased herself into the water, then plugged her nose and submerged for a full 5 seconds. Then 10 seconds. Then 15 seconds. Then 30 seconds. Then 45 seconds. "You sure she knows how to swim?" Grandpa asked. CT shrugged, "Grandpa-papa will have to go in after her if she can't..." *SPLASH* The water flew everywhere as an energic figure practically flew from the pool to land safely in the room. "Auntie-Jake?" CT asked the newcomer. The young sailor senshi simply smiled back, Thoth would probably hate her for making this decision without him, but he had made several bad decisions for her in the past anyway, "Youthful Sailor Jake... at your service." "Aww..." Grandpa sighed sadly, "Too young for me now..." SJ shuddered at the thoughts. "Well, I'm sure there are lots of problems we'll be needed to clean up." CT nodded, "Let's go- -------------------------------------------------- We're sorry, due to circumstances beyond our control, the script to the rest of this otaku wars! post was lost on its way to the newsgroup. Luckily the episode was finished by the korean editors. We hope you enjoy the new ending! "Well, I'm sure there are lots of problems we'll be needed to clean up." CT nodded, "Let's go HAVE BIG AMERICAN PARTY!" Disco music started up in the background and a mirrored disco ball descended from the ceiling as ChibiThunder and Sailor Jake began dancing. "OH NO!" Grandpa cried and pointed to the door, "BIG EVIL ROBOTS!" "AAAH!" the otaku screamed and ran through the wall and jumped in the back of a conveniently placed car. Who driving? BEAR DRIVING! HOW DO THAT?! The bear drove the little blue car with the three otaku in it down darkened hallways as the big evil robots transformed into sleek looking cars and nameless amichanian spies jumped inside to begin one bad ass race to who knows where. Where they go? TO STADIUM! THAT WHERE! The three parked just outside the door leading into the ruined OWF stadium and ran inside. Shortly after, the evil robot cars arrived and transformed. "AAARRRGGHH!!"s could be heard as the nameless amichanians inside were crushed to death, their blood spilling all over the floor causing one of the robots to slip and impale itself on a passing flagpole. The remaining two robots roared mightily and bust through the walls causing those in the stadium to look up in shock with anime-ish swirling backgrounds behind them. OH NO! How they beat big bad robots? With box of midgets! That how! Sailor Gemini swung down on a rope, with a box of midgets under her arm, and dropped them on the evil robots. THAT SHOW THEM! The robots were mighty tough, but the box of angry mis-written midgets were mightier as their punches tore through the thick metal hides of the evil robots as if they were paper. Midget Power foo'! Everyone began partying again as another disco ball fell from the ceiling. TBC On the next exciting episode of Otaku Wars! That morning, on the Artemis-P Space Station, Dionysus walked into the dining room to see Frank, Rooks, Brutus, MinaKane, and Skuld eating their breakfasts as they chatted about recent events. "Ah, this is what I like to see." Dionysus began as he sat down at the table himself. "My wonderful faction and closest allies well rested, eating well, and discussing the greatness that is Minako-sama." "DIONYSUS!!" Rooks shouted, "YOUR HAND IS CAUGHT IN THE TOASTER!!!" *fade to black* For those intelligent enough, yes, this post turned NC half way through... like, starting at the Clerks reference and the big dotted line. ^_^ Please continue from there, not after the midgets. ;) -- Dionysus