[This is a compilation of two Posts that Belial had made on
alt.fan.sailor-moon. I do hope that he will not seriously hurt
me for *cough*editing*cough* them. -- Farix]
[This is an edited and expanded version of Farix's
edited version. I do hope that he will not seriously hurt
me for *cough*editing*cough* them. -- Mord]
Alright, so you've got yourself a monster of a thread starting up that will some day saturate the net causing the whole thing to crash five years down the road. Well, that's a lot of responsibility young Otaku, and one which can easily be placed in the wrong hands. And since I'm lecturing, you might as well say it *has* been placed in the wrong hands. ;)
Note: Well, the old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be... ;) Though OW is still proliferate, I am pleased (or disappointed?) to announce that a.f.s-m is now off the list of prioritized groups for the FBI to watch. Still on their list, but hey, what isn't? <grin> On the up side, I'm still on their Global Threat list, so if you want to get in on the fun, e-mail me and tell me why YOU should get to help me conquer the world by 2010. All entries must be coherent and not have religious slogans or mention of heavenly bodies. You know what I mean. (Hail Bopp! <grin>)
These are just some suggested guidelines to keep the thread alive and well, rather then degrading into crap or a flame war.
Suggested Guideline #1: Never, ever try to kill another character. This is demoralizing, and on top of that, no one will let themselves be killed. Example:
And then Belial hacked it all up by saying: >X followed suit since he's a total lackey ;): >>Jet Wolf lived in a fantasy world while writing: >>> "And with this mighty bookcase!" screeched >>>Jet Wolf, "I'll crack your head open and scoop >>>out the delicious innards!" >>> "Oh no." said Belial, but then his head split >>>like the mighty papaya, and he was no more. >> "BWAHAHAHA!!!" X laughed mercilessly, "We have >>killed Belial, and mightily so! Victory is ours!" >>And with that, they took the DNA to be analyzed >>as to be sure it was Belial's corpse >> "Why yes!" said the scientist, "This is the >>corpse of the one known as Belial!" >> "Oh good!" X gloated, "Now destroy the corpse >>down to the last atom!" >> And with that, the corpse of the mighty dictator >>was thrown into a vat of acid, and chemically >>destroyed beyond any hope of resurrection or >>cloning. > And as the two evildoers walked away, the >scientist threw off his labcoat, revealing he >was in actuality... BELIAL! Gasp! > "BWAHAHA!" he cackled, "Ataru Morobishi body- >switch! I never give up!" And with that, he >went and killed Jet Wolf and X right away, and >burnt the bodies. Dammit Belial! You always do this! It's been five long years, give it up! No one likes you anymore, not since you killed Alannis Morisette, just log off and keep running from the feds! Bah!
Heh, sorry, I got carried away with that. ;) But you get the idea, right? Good. The same would probably go for senshi. DOUBLY so. <grin>
NOTE: Regardless of changing times, this is still the most important guideline. A LOT of characters have left the Wars! over the years, and some authors have killed their -own- characters off as they left, but luckily most people still follow this as common sense. -- Mord
Suggested Guideline #2: If you can, keep it funny. This is a parody. And so far, all the work here has been great... well, except one I'm working on, but it still might work. ;)
NOTE: Okay, obviously in the past, and
present, this hasn't always been. Some people are simply not
funny, and others are just plain stupid. I'm not going to name
names *cough*no,really*cough* <grin> but there have been
some real disasters in the past month. Less self-glorification
please.
-- Farix
NOTE: Unfortunately, most people don't seem to follow this guideline.
Of course, since there hasn't been a functioning website with these
guidelines on it since 98...
There is no longer an excuse. -- Mord
Suggested Guideline #3: Read posts daily before writing your continuation of someone else's work. I didn't, and now we have two different recountings of how the attempt to re-capture the Diet Coke Bottle From Hell (TM). It's not a big deal, but it's a good example of personal experience.
NOTE:
Still very important, and some people seem to exhibit OPM (One Post Memory)
Syndrome. This is characterized by posts being written that completely
ignore anything mentioned in the recent posts except the one they're
actually responding to. Not a Good Thing.
With the advent of the Otaku Wars! Mailing List, actual continuity
problems are avoided these days that use to be caused by delayed or
lost posts. -- Mord
Suggested Guideline #4: Don't wait three months while someone is plotting and cunning and... uh... malingering! ;) over huge plot development, and then you feel your senshi being threatened, so you write: "But then I stopped them, and destroyed all their hard work." <grin> Have some respect for other people's ideas. Or if nothing else, write a good opposition. Let's face it, no one senshi is going to win this. It's like... (dredging up horrible old polls) trying to convince the masses same-sex relationships are okay or not... or... discussing the morals of a DiC executive. ;) It's pointless. It's just fun.
Note: Well, obviously, this never
worked. <grin> But it was a good idea, and something to
work with. -- Farix
But it should work. HOWEVER, plotters should not directly involve other
faction patron senshi in their little (or large) threads. The senshi
are not at war (especially these days), the otaku are at war. Involving
patron senshi directly in the action can EASILY irritate/frustrate
the otaku involved.
One instance involved the OSDF's use of Makoto in their threads in 1999
or 2000. They basically had her written as their buddy and friend and
used that to cause problems in the Makochanians. Basically, the Minpire
was at war with the OSDF at the time, and was allied with the Makochanians.
However, when the OSDF attacked the Minpire, half of the Makochanians
sided with the Minpire and the other half sided with the OSDF -- ONLY
BECAUSE THEY WERE FOLLOWING MAKOTO. This naturally angered a lot of people,
although luckily most of that was channeled onto the OW!'s IRC channel
rather than directly into the OW! like so many other flame wars. -- Mord
Suggested Guideline #5: Don't be indestructible or unstoppable. Even Belial was rescued by Greg on the Minakochanian ship. We all have weaknesses, and that's what makes us likeable. It's humanity. Giving your characters quirks and achilles heels' makes them more appealing. (IMO) That tragic prideful moment, that underestimating of power, that unwillingness to take massive damage in the name of your senshi, that will give you an edge over the people who are tanks. People will actually be surprised when they read your work. ;)
NOTE: Another guideline that almost every newbie never learns. They never go on to be memorable authors in the Wars! -- Well, not memorable in a GOOD way. ;) -- Mord
Suggested Guideline #6: Drink Diet Coke. It's what makes life worth living. ;)
NOTE: This guideline has never worked. Drink normal Coke dammit. -- Mord
Suggested Guideline #7: Please don't bring your fanfic characters into OW in an attempt to plug your fanfic. For all intents and purposes, every writer has ONE character they work with, either a representation of themselves or a character they created. The problem with fanfic characters of course, is that you usually write them to win, hence unbeatable, hence, stupid. (in fact, this is a good piece of advice for aspiring fanfic writers. No more damn avatar-author senshi who can save the others when even Sailor Moon is hopelessly outgunned! The reason religion is dying is that gods are boring! Humans are interesting!) Post your fanfics if you like, but OW is for fun fantasies and such. Not ego-feasts. (look, even Jet Wolf keeps hers hidden away on a web-page! ;)
Contractual Loophole #1 (sub-derivative #7 Guideline): Sidekicks. Sidekicks can work, if done properly. Good examples of sidekicks in the past: RMX's brother, Triffid, Nic-chan, Chibi-Chibi, (heck, everyone uses this kid now, originally no one wanted anything to do with her ;) Nikki-Nikki, (just so loveable ;) Crow, Noel's Mako-chan Doll... the list goes on. These worked. Follow the pattern.
NOTE: Please note that the authors who pulled off those sidekicks above successfully, are GOOD authors. 95% of all authors in the OW! would probably be unable to pull off self-authored sidekicks successfully. One good NO-NO, in my humble opinion, is never give your character a self-authored sidekick near the beginning of their OW! career. (Your newbie months) It's the same as if you started the Wars! with multiple characters, and lessens your odds of success. -- Mord
Suggested Guideline #8: Be easygoing. Realize that other authors are going to interpret your character(s) in a different light than you would. Here's a bad example: The Chibi-Pair's vengeful vendetta against Mimi.
Suggested Guideline #9: Keep with your plot. If you start a plot and then wander off when distracted by a shiny stone, please let the rest of us who joined know where this was supposed to be heading. ;) The DML, the HSB, and now Castle Nocturne. Where were/are they going? <grin> Who knows. (yeah, yeah, I know, the draw for Belial's services, I'm taking my own advice ;P ;)
NOTE: This is important, and becomes more important the larger the plot happens to be. It could cause the Wars! to stagnate in the worse cases, like what has happened at times with the Alternate Otaku World plot in 2001. -- Mord
Suggested Guideline #10: Go easy on the New Guys. A lot of people charge into OW without knowing what they're getting into, and often frighten us or embarrass themselves. Take Lord Xarph. Perfectly likeable Reichanian, but no one understood his mech or the potato, so it was hard to write him in. I'm not sure if he's even still around. That Sarlaac egg was working though. ;) Anyway, try to give a few helpful nudges in the right direction when someone comes running at OW head-down like it was a brick wall. The worst that could happen is that they throw a tantrum at being rebuked and leave, or become so embarrassed they commit suicide and you live with that soul-wrenching guilt the rest of your grief-ridden life... er... I should rephrase that, huh? Okay, maybe we should have some appointed helpers from each faction? Like a Block Parent? <grin> You remember Block Parents! In the days before pedophilia ran rampant, and you actually trusted your neighbors rather than suspecting them? What? Oh... off-topic you say... ;)
Suggested Guideline #10 (the other #10): Remember, there are repercussions for actions... the air has seemed a little surly lately, and I'm just awaiting the first attempt on some main character's life. (I'm still trying to figure out why Steve called me a pussy ;) Remember, there's a few easy sayings that state all you need to know:
Well, anyway, you get the idea. These are just some "suggestions" as the title and each header, er, "suggests." ;) Anyone else is invited to contribute their own ideas.
Belial
[The didn't-make-it-to-the-official-list-of-suggestions suggestions. -- Farix]
[But you can consider them official now, we NEED them. -- Mord]
DMITTOLOS Suggestion #1 by SuperSteve: Try to avoid 18 page posts.
DMITTOLOS Suggestion #2 by Jet Wolf: Try NOT to requote someone's entire post when you're responding. Hit the high points and delete the rest.
DMITTOLOS Suggestion #3 by Belial: Please, Please, PLEASE Word-Wrap! It's real easy! I have some of Warthog's posts that are just ten lines that stretch about eight feet to the right of my screen. ;) The real bummer is, text is often lost when this happens, so we're cheated. :( And it also keeps your quotes from the last twelve posts from getting so disjointed and messy. Ah, a typical Belial Suggestion... ;)
DMITTOLOS Suggestion #4 by Warthog: If there are problems with what other people are writing, either format or characterization, say something. Don't let them go on and on while they stand there with their fly open.
DMITTOLOS Suggestion #5 by The Timekeeper: Whatever you do, respect other authors and try not to bite their heads off in a self-imposed rant. Example: Sailor Ice Blade's recent condemnation of Akeana Elfid's OW! characters. Yes, Akeana's characters were blatant plugs for her fanfics (thereby violating Suggested Guideline #7). Yes, Akeana's characters were _slightly_ overrated in the power and mission detail. Yes, Akeana did attempt to create a cookie-cutter plot by unsuccessfully introducing Merl, the so-called 'loving union' of two major characters who wish to remain anonymous (*cough*Hindu & Mimi*cough*). <GRIN> That still does not give anyone the right to exile another author from OW!. A simple crack over the head with a baseball bat would suffice. <GRIN> If you have something to say, try to keep the rant civilized. Either that, or email the author yourself.