This post includes: Minpire: Harold, Tuxedo Dionysus, NC-Janitor, Artemesian Warrior, Korb, Skuld, Rooks, Raven, Brutus, Lina, Sailor Universe. (11) Darkmoonian: Prince Sapphire, Marvin, ChaosSapphire, Seedling, Dark Glen, Pitch, Esmerodian Warrior, and Cud Haggis. A Final Youma Of The Post. () Makochanian: Kobanal, Leloni Bunny, Ferchan, Cape-Mike. (4) Endymionsamaian: Kane, T-cat. (2) OSDF: Nyakun, RockmanX, Nic-chan, Mr. K, Sailor Polaris, SuperSteve. (6) Miscellaneous: Bob, KABOOOOOM-ohki, NecroMercury, Nightman. Brace yourself folks. This one's a doozy. Previously on Otaku Wars! OAV, Discontinuous Continuity: * A False Chapter 9 haunts the Newsgroup and OW! Mailing List. The authors of Discontinuous Continuity apologize for any frustrations, disappointments, homocidal incidents, and castle stormings of our fans when they realized they've been had. * All of the captured Otaku escaped from their cells, to cause various problems all over the Dark Crystal. * DG and Sapphire get the bright idea to evilize their minions. * TD was brought back to the Minpire! * Mord plays with cassette tapes, pretending they are alien spacecrafts. (I deny everything! - Ed.) * Fights broke out all over the Darkmoonian base. Thus Continues... Chapter IX: "Discontinuous Continuity" (We mean it this time.) The scene opens on Channel 5 Newsbreak with Kenny Brocklestein.... In the top right corner of the screen, a picture of the Author of Korb in a straight jacket was displayed. "...and as a result, the final chapter of Discontinuous Continuity will be delayed another day at least." the news anchor with the neatly trimmed haircut reported, "When we reached the Regretful Korb for comment earlier, he had this to say..." The screen switched to see Korb being dragged into the hospital in his white straight jacket. "I'D DO IT AGAIN GIVEN THE CHANCE!!!" he foamed at the mouth as he struggled against the two large, muscular men pulling him along, "STAY TUNED FOR CHAPTER 10!!!! CHAPTER 10!!!!!!!! FERCHAN AND KERN ARE STILL LOOSE!!! WE CAN'T BE STOPPED!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-" Mr. Brocklestein blinked, shuffled quickly through the papers in his hands, then continued. "Well, that's the news, we'll see you here again tomorrow when I bring you the inside story of our overcrowded funeral homes. I'm Kenny Brocklestein. Good night." < News show music playing and credits rolling > After all the credits had rolled, and the show went off the air, the newsman turned to his fellow reporters and said, "Excellent show everyone! I think we can now close the book on just about every unsolved murder in our fair city." *RRRING RRRING!* "Brocklestein...." The reporter's eyes opened wide, "No... You serious? Do we have a source on this? Uh-huh, Ivanna Tinkle.... Ok, where? Uh-huh...Got it!" Standing up quickly, Kenny turned to the crowd working behind him and started shouting orders. "Ok! People!! We have an army of Pook!s dancing on a meteorite that crashed about 100 miles east of here. I'll need a helicopter, two vans, and, uh, four, no FIVE cameras. I want to be there before anyone else hears about this!" < Jason Bramlett and Carl fuming over being overlooked. -Scene Switch > The door to the Main Bridge opened with a swish as Sailor Polaris, RockmanX, Nic-Chan, and Brutus came to a stop in front of it. "Looks like we're expected." Brutus mused, "Should we go inside?" "No choice." Polaris replied, "We can't very well help everyone else out here." Nic-Chan teleported inside to the middle of the bridge. Looking around, she didn't notice anything suspicious. "The coast is clear." Her three companions ran into the room, "Ok, look for the main control board." Polaris exclaimed as they began to split up. Then the doors slammed shut... with a swish. "A trap?!" Brutus gasped and readied his sword. "Something like that, Stud." An all too familliar feminine voice cooed from Prince Sapphire's Command Chair. "Pitch?!" the warriors gasped, but saw nothing in the chair... "Hehehehehe." her voice echoed around the room, then someone faded into existance, sitting comfortably in Sapphy's chair. She would be every Usagichanian's nightmare... as she looked exactly like their patron senshi with but a few minor differences. She wore a sailor fuku like other senshi, but where others had colorful skirts and bows, hers was a dreary grey. Her hair, done up in true meatball fashion, was black and she wore a golden tiara with an opal gemstone that was engraved with an inverted crescent moon. "That's me." The Evilized Pitch grinned with fanged teeth. "Don't get ahead of yourself my dear." Another voice echoed throughout the room, signaling the arrival of ChaosSapphire in a blueish flash of light next to her. "ChaosSapphire!" The warriors gasped. "While we've been ordered to eradicate all otaku warriors inside the Meteorite..." he turned to face the others, eyes filled with intense anger of the betrayer, "Sailor Polaris is MINE." "I know, I know... don't worry, the other three should be entertaining enough..." Pitch grinned evilly, then seemingly vanished. "Where is she?" RockmanX gasped, then went flying as something unseen landed a powerful uppercut. "Chris!" Nic-chan cried, "She must be manipulating her coloring to appear invisible! Watch yourselves!" < Bob the Viking and Sailor Knight looking for the Capcomchanians -Scene Switch > "Time to receive your judgement insects." Prince Sapphire cackled from the air where he floated menacingly. "Oh yeah?!" Frank challenged him, then with a flick of his wrist, threw a razor-sharp Duran Duran CD. The Deadly CD flew up with all the accuracy of an Artemesian Warrior Card, but still hit the Darkmoonian's blocking hand and stuck there. The prince never flinched. "Observe my NEW power Ditz-lovers, and tremble with fear!" A shockwave errupted from Sapphire as he released a tremendous amount of stored nega-energy. Everyone was blown off their feet and hurled several meters through the air, but that wasn't the end of it. "WAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Prince Sapphire cackled as a small earthquake began to rock the cavern, "Come to me, my Undeader! Come to me, ICHIWAARDOREPURAI!!" Everyone raised their right eyebrow simutaneously, except for NC-Janitor who raised his left eyebrow to be different. The ground directly below the Dark Prince split open dangerously and two bone-white foreclaws emerged, followed by the rest of the Undead 'Demi-Armor'. When it finally finished pulling itself out of its grave, it resembled a white, bony, 25-foot Preying Mantis with beady red eyes, and a clear blue-colored gemstone (about 3-foot radius) embedded in the center of its chest. "What in the name of Minakosama!" Tuxedo Dionysus gasped at the sight, "How did you know something like that was here?!" The prince snickered at his nemesis as he lowered himself to float in front of the gemstone. "That's one of the perks of being the main villains. We get the cool Destructive Toys!" He flew backwards into the gemstone as if it were water and suddenly the beast roared to life with a monsterous growl. "UUUURRRRR!!!" "Watch out!" Frank shouted as the massive foreclaws came crashing down. Frank himself, dodged easily. TD and NC-Janitor weren't quite as lucky and went flying. "UUUURRR!" IchiWaardoRepurai shouted as the Dark Prince bid it to strike at his foes. He watched as blasts of white magic flew from the undeader's mouth, making his enemies run for dear life. "Suffer, Suffer!" The Dark Prince laughed insanely, "Feel the pain and torment I have with each humiliating loss and then go to hell!!!" ZZZZZIIIIII @======>>=============== NNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!! *clack* TD's golden rose bounced harmlessly off its bony hide. "Dammit!" TD cursed as he landed from his last jump, "How do we defeat this monstrosity!" "I dunno!" Frank panted, his CDs just as ineffective. *pudda* *pudda* *pudda* The undeader's blasts of magic caught TD offguard, causing him to fall to the ground in a heap. "Dionysus!" NC-Janitor shouted since he didn't have many lines lately. As he spoke, he started to run to his Continuity Half only to be blasted with white magic himself, sending him flying into a far wall. Frank was at a loss for what to do, unable to do anything because his attacks still sucked hard in terms of destructive power. "Finally!" Prince Sapphire laughed as he made Ichiwaardorepurai pick up the fallen Faction Leader in one claw. "Now you can suffer as I have! Are you ready? Say 'argh' if so." He began to tighten his grip inside the undeader, causing the undeader to tighten its grip on TD. "ARGH!" TD was pushed right up next to the undeader's bony face, but the Heroic Minakochanian was prepared for anything! No sir, nothing this two-bit darkmoonian could do would torment him! He was THAT determined! "Your senshi sucks." The Dark Prince laughed cruelly. TD pikued with a sweatdrop, then yelped in pain as his reply to the comment was squeezed out of him. "And she's a horrid leader with a FAILED manga! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" "AAAAAARRRGGHH!" TD screamed as he was forced to endure the slanderous insults to his Goddess helplessly. "She'll never amount to anything! She has an IQ of 6 and she DYES HER HAIR! AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" TD continued wailing at the inhuman torture. ;_; "Dude... this is just cruel..." Frank sobbed helplessly. < Neomercury dropping a Flaming Oceanliner on a hapless Icefalcon. -Scene Switch > "So... why does this Evil Faction have the biggest game room I've ever seen?!" Ferchan pikued with her only line for the post. "They probably stole half of it." Mr. K snickered as they all stumbled onto a basketball field. "Remind me why we all came in here again?" Nyakun asked to the group. "I saw something enter the room." Korb replied, "Since an ally wouldn't have hidden from us, it must be a darkmoonian." "And if it's a darkmoonian, we beat the snot out of it." Kane finished with a flex of his puny muscles. The scoreboard suddenly turned on with a loud echoing CLICK. "Nani?!" Kane shouted in alarm, cutting Ferchan off from what she was about to yelp. A strange wind suddenly swept through the arena, thick with pink cherry blossoms. Along the marble floor of the basketball court, small white flowers with pinkish centers spouted everywhere. "Aren't they beautiful?" A familiar voice echoed around the court, "A Dragon Lily requires special attention to grow to this size. Just a little too much water, a little too much sunlight, and they shrivel up and die. At the same time, however, their pollen, when inhaled, can drop an elephant in 30 seconds." "Sapphire?!" Korb growled angrily. Ferchan opened her mouth to speak but Nyakun jumped in front of her and shouted, "NO! That's ChaosSapphire!" he shouted, "The original prince can't teleport or do this kinda thing I'm sure!" From the hard marble ground, A clone of Prince Sapphire grew out of the ground and sweatdropped, "Come on... It's Seedling... I thought my deadly beauties would at least give THAT much away..." "Oh yeah..." Mr. K nodded, "Sorry, we just assumed you were too incompetent to make a dramatic entrance on your own." "AHhahahahaha-That's not funny." Seedling mocked the OSDFer, "Attack my lilies, Pollen Power - MAKE UP!!" Korb facefaulted into the ground and died from the deadly pollen. The Deadly Dragon Lilies around the Evilized Seedling uprooted themselves and swirled around him dramatically. When they dispersed seconds later, he resembled Fiore in appearance after the Xenian Flower had merged with him. From the back of his pink suit, many life-like vines whipped around the air menacingly. Korb respawned soon after. < The Rost and LeVar posing in front of an Ami-chan Poster. -Scene Switch > Even though I'd love to see what Sapphire'll say next, I think it's time to do a "meanwhile"... :P Meanwhile, in the bowels of the Dark Crystal, Harold was leading his group down a long and strangely familiar corridor. The small group of Otaku passed a sign that read "This way to Engineering! If you are a saboteur, please turn back now. Have a nice day! :)" Yes, even the smily face was there... "I think we're close to the engineering section, gang!" Bob said. "Thanks, Shaggy...." Sailor Universe replied with a snicker. "Huh?" Bob said, clueless. Skuld, who was second in line, spotted something up ahead. "Hold it!" She hissed and pulled Harold down to hide next to the wall. "What's wrong with you!" Harold whined in annoyance. His shirt had very nearly choked him from the violent yank. "There's someone there, you ninny! You nearly walked into another trap!" Harold peeked around the corner. Sure enough, there were two Darkmoonian warriors already there, waiting. By the looks, Marvin the Clinically Depressed Robot was there, doing maintanence checks on the systems, and standing nearby was a large, kilted, grey minotaur. "A new Darkmoonian?" SU whispered as she poked her head around the corner, startling the nervous Harold. Pushing Skuld out of the way an a "Heey!", Bob took a peek. His eyes opened wide, "It's Cud!" he said nervously. Harold and SU pikued. "Who?" they asked simultaneously. "Cud... He's very dangerous. His cookies are hard as rocks!" Harold looked at Bob as if he were a Neutralian. SU slapped Harold on the side of the head, "Snap out of it, Harold, you're looking at him like was a Neutralian for Minako-sama's sake." "So what do we do? We have to disable their systems somehow, or else this whole plan won't be worth the price of admission to a Pauly Shore movie!" Skuld jumped up and down. < Sprite and SD-KM plotting something secretive... -Scene Switch > "-and not to mention her breast implants!!!" "AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" "LEAVE HIM ALONE!" "Nani?" Prince Sapphire blinked, then turned to see a fuming NC-Janitor. For once, The NC Being's eyes burned with angry determination! "What are you looking at maggot?" *pudda pudda pudda* NC-Jan flew headfirst into the rubble behind him like a rag doll. "Now where were we? Oh yes..." Prince Sapphire continued his Evil Unnecessarily Cruel Torture, as the other claw held a polaroid in front of TD's face. "THIS IS WHAT SHE LOOKED LIKE -BEFORE- THE PLASTIC SURGERY!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" TD's mind reeled at the horrid, HORRID LIES about his senshi and passed out. "Minako-sama..." He squeaked, "Guys..." Prince Sapphire showed him a picture of Carp's head put on Sailor Venus' body... ;_; < Author: Anyone drawing a picture of this, will suffer slooowly and paaaaainfully. :) > "Dionysus!" Frank shouted, still helplessly watching. ^^; Under the rocks, NC-Janitor was barely holding on to conciousness himself. 'I have to do something!' he told himself, 'But everything I do messes up...' Images assaulted his mind as well... > The Wal-Mart was totally destroyed. Prince Sapphire squared off > against the last standing otaku warrior that stood in the way of his > Five Finger Discount. The man in golden endymion-style armour was > favoring his right leg as he struggled to stand. His left arm ended > in a sharp blade. Then Sapphire unleashed a powerful blast of nega-energy. It faded to another image... > Looking out from a tubed chamber, Dionysus saw Prince Sapphire > running hundreds and hundreds of tests on him. After a bit of setting > up, the final test was prepared and a ray gunnish device was positioned > above him... > > It activated! The resulting feeling was not unlike having > your lungs pulled out through your mouth. 'What's happening?!' > NC-Janitor shouted as he felt himself rise up towards the pulling > device. > > Looking down, he saw himself lying in the chamber still... NC-Janitor jolted awake at the last image! He got to his feet, rocks dropping around him. "What the?" Sapphire turned to look at him once again. "Freakin' Zombie!" He shot his free clawed arm down to crush the insignificant bug where he stood, only to have it bounce off a yellow shield. NC-Janitor began to glow with a brilliant yellowish aura. "I don't mind losing everything." NC-Jan mumbled to himself, "I won't mind pain. I won't be bothered by losing a game of paper-rock- scissors occasionally. Heck, I couldn't care less if a squirrel ran up my pants... It'd be so much better than being eaten alive several times, although it WOULD have been a kickass tour of the digestive tract for biology... if I took biology... These Massive NC powers won't be missed.... To be together like we're suppose to be... Dionysus..." "You DIE!" Sapphire growled, then fired a massive blast of white magic at NC-Janitor. "YOU'RE MINE!!!" NC-Janitor screamed back, the blast of magic slamming against his shield harmlessly. Immediately, NC-Janitor turned into a beam of light and shot up towards TD. "What's that?!" Frank pikued at the sight, watching the changes in his friend. The baseball hat and yellow tuxedo vanished, being replaced by a suit of Golden Endymion-Style Armour. Dionysus began laughing Nefariously then vanished. "EH?! Impossible!!" Prince Sapphire cursed at his empty claws. Down on the ground, Dionysus reappeared next to Frank, his cape flowing coolly in the wind. "Dionysus! You're alright!" Frank exclaimed. "Yep, but that's not all." Turning around, Dionysus shot the ground with beams of orange light. A small rumbling began resulting in the ground cracking open. From within, A Minakochanian Guardian emerged on Auto-Pilot. Its cockpit opened up. "Let's rock and roll." Frank grinned Nefariously and they both ran for the mech. < Tom dela Mechanic revvin' his latest FasterThanLight Race Car. -Scene Switch > Dark Glen looked at his wrist. Swearing in anger at the fact that he wasn't wearing a watch, he got to his feet and walked toward the still gasping Kobanal. "Look at you..." DG said in disgust, then lifted the lupine to his feet by the scuff of his neck, "You're so weak, it makes me wanna puke." "Hooof!" Kobanal groaned as DG drove his mailed fist into his stomach. The Darkmoonian General smiled evilly. Kobanal crawled to his knees. DG quickly walked around the lupine, drew back his left leg, and kicked the groaning humanoid square in the chest. The lupine collapsed to the ground. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" DG laughed. "No dueling rules," he began counting on his fingers, "No help from annoying little Minakochanian snails. Wow. You don't really have a prayer, do you Mutt?" Kobanal glared dangerously at his enemy. *Shhhhiiiink* DG, sword drawn, walked around to get a better shot at Kobanal's head. He raised the Demon Sword high in the air.... "MMPMMPHH!!!" "AAAGH!!" DG growled when a small, orange coated kid jumped on his shoulders and wrapped his little arms around his face, covering DG's eyes with his hands. "Get offa me ya little M&M!!" Kobanal slowly got to his feet. "Take THIS!" DG screamed and threw the little kid to the ground. With a viscious swipe of the Demon Sword, Kenny lay headless on the ground. Rats instantly appeared and began eating him. "Bwahahahah!" DG laughed, then turned to face the injured lupine. *SSShhhhhinnnk* "Oh!" DG exclaimed brightly, "So it's the old cornered animal gag, is it?" With a quick roundhouse kick, DG sent Kobanal spiraling to the ground. "This is too easy! You're wasting my time!" The Darkmoonian taunted with a grin. "You know something?" Kobanal croaked, crawling to his feet, "You... TALK too much!" The lupine charged. DG, still smiling, easily parried the charge and went to trip the lupine. However, Kobanal was already behind him. Then in front, and behind again. DG couldn't keep his eye on his enemy. *SLAP!* "AARGH!" DG growled as he was punched in the back. *SMACK* "Ugh!" he went when an unseen fist drove itself into his stomach. The lupine was moving even faster now, and throwing punches at a much faster rate. *SMACKTWACKCRACKBAMPOWCRUNCHBAMSMACKPOWPOWPOWTHUDTHUDBAMSMASH!!!* DG fell to the ground, gasping for breath. Kobanal skidded to a halt over him. "(pant, pant) Get up!!" Kobanal growled deeply, his eyes had become bloodshot, "This isn't over!!" Grabbing DG by the neck, Kobanal pulled the Darkmoonian to his feet. And was knocked backwards by a jaw-loosening uppercut. Kobanal regained his footing, then pointed his sword at DG. DG took his stance with the Demon Sword at the ready. "Oooh, yer good!" Dark Glen said with a smile that was tinged with his own blood, "Haven't had -this- sort of challenge in some time!" "Nor likely to again!" Kobanal chuckled darkly. The two combatants began circling each other. "Soooo, once again... I've been had," Kenny Brocklestein said some one hundred feet from where the two Otaku were battling, "But an even bigger story is being played out right behind me as two Otaku, we believe them to be Named, are apparently making a movie." The reporter turned to look at the duel to the death. "And by the looks of this action folks, you can bet it'll be a winner come the Oscars in March." "EEYEEGH!!" Dark Glen yelled as he was slashed across the arm. Both warriors were receiving incredible damage from this fight, however, it looked as if Kobanal was beginning to show signs of weakness. A noise above him made DG look up in curiosity. A television news copter was circling overhead, and a bright light was turned on, shining an intense white light down on the warriors. "NNNGG!" Kobanal growled as the light blinded him. *TWACK!!!!! ..... thud....* "hehhehehehehe...." DG laughed evilly as the lupine was knocked out on the ground. Leaning down, DG lifted Kobanal's head to whisper in his ear. "Did you really think you could defeat me? ME??!! I could never be defeated by a newbie! And -you-..... are no exception, Mako-Mutt." DG dropped the unconscious lupines' head to the ground, then turned on his heel. Giving two quick back-kicks of dirt on Kobanal's face, DG headed back to the meteorite. If the lupine was free, then so were the others. His prince should be informed as soon as possible. < Chaos being boiled in butter. -Scene Switch > "Dark Moooon" Pitch exclaimed as she spun around in circles with a negamoon strobe in her hands, "Tormented Smooch!" She stopped after finishing her new attack, holding the negamoon strobe high in the air. It seemed to gather power, then shot beams of dark energy directly at Brutus. "AAAARRRGGGGH!" The Minakochanian shouted as the lightning flew all about him... then the lightning turned into a swarm of ugly black bats and continued to fly past him. "HOOORRIIIBLEEE!!!" Brutus exclaimed before the final blast of negapower sent him flying against the wall at high speed. "I love my job." Pitch purred, then jumped out of the way of RockmanX's Rock Buster. Polaris parried the ChaosBlade with her Illusory Staff and clubbed ChaosSapphire while he was offbalance. "You just don't get it do you clone?" ChaosSapphire growled and ducked under her second swing, "Don't get what, woman?" He shot an ice beam in her general direction. Swirling her staff above her head, the OSDFer prepared for her next attack, "That you just can't beat me! There IS a reason why I was third in command while I was with the Darkmoon... instead of you!" Growling incoherantly, he raised the ChaosBlade and charged even as Polaris activated her staff, causing many duplicates of her to charge forward along with her. *swish* *swish* *swish* The Darkmoonian kept swiping at the illusions that were pretty darn life-like. *CRACK* He fell forward as the real staff slammed into his back. He regained his footing and turned around just in time to... "Northern Cross!" Sailor Polaris shouted, knocking ChaosSapphire to the ground from the energy burst. She dug her heel into his hand as she stepped by him to see how the others were doing with Pitch. "Damn you!" He cursed while holding his injured hand, "You haven't seen the last of me!" He disappeared. 'You haven't seen the last of me!' Polaris mouthed sarcastically as she rolled her eyes. "You guys need any help?" RockmanX's head was imbedded in a wall. "Sure, if you feel like helping." He mumbled through metal with a shrug. < The Moonlight Ninja Knight strangling Dark Star Ninja. -Scene Switch > The Foreclaw of The Horrid IchiWaardoRepurai slammed down on the Minakochanian Guardian's right shoulder, tearing through the armor. "Argh!" The Minakochanian Guardian would have roared if it were alive. Instead, it was just Frank in the co-pilot's seat accessing the damage done. "Use the left fist to pry this sucker off Bro!" Sure enough, the left hand was able to pry the claw loose, holding it high above the Guardian. "Now fire the Ditz Cannon on the Right Arm!" *pudda pudda pudda* "No effect Frank." Dionysus replied, "And it's coming again!" The Other foreclaw slammed into the side of the Minakochanians' mech, sending it into a wall. *beep beep beep beep* "Uh... abandon ship." Dionysus sweatdropped with a weak grin. It exploded shortly after the two jumped. "This is just great." Frank fumed. "Now how are we suppose to-" "Urrr!" The undeadish voice attracted their attention to the hole in the floating Dark Crystal high above. They sweatdropped as NecroMercury walked off the Dark Crystal to plummet to the ground many feet below. "And I thought Seedling was stupid..." Prince Sapphire snickered from inside the undead demi-armor. Falling such a height naturally would have killed a person, but since NecroMercury was already dead, she just stumbled to her feet in her undead-zombieish (it is now a word) fashion and "Urrr?" IchiWaardoRepurai looked down. "URRR?" (Translation: Mother?) "Urrr!" NecroMercury replied. (Translation: Son! I thought you were dead! After you disappeared from the newsgroup years ago, I was sick with worry! The others gave up searching after only a few months but I NEVER stopped believing you were ok... I even left your room the way it was before you disappeared!) "UUUUURRRRR! Reply URR URR URRRR..." it said as it bowed it's head, much to Prince Sapphire's sudden surprise. (Translation: I'm sowwy...) "Braaaiiins...." The Dead Woman demanded and pointed to the ground. (Translation: That's ok, get that thing out of you and let's go home.) If Prince Sapphire was surprised before, he'd be downright flabbergasted when IchiWaardoRepurai reached in through the blue gemstone on its chest with a massive foreclaw, grabbed him, yanked him out, then tossed him to the ground. "HEY! THAT'S -MY- UNDEADER!" The Dark Prince shouted angrily as NecroMercury led the mammoth Undead Preying Mantis out of the cavern by the foreclaw, the two Urring to each other. Then the prince ate dirt as Dionysus and Frank tackled him from behind. "ARGH! GET OFF!" A wave of negaenergy sent the two minpirians flying. Sapphire then jumped into the air and flew into the Dark Crystal once more exclaiming, "Something's wrong... I'll deal with YOU later!" < Pook! purring next to Chris Waffle. -Scene Switch > "C'mon Marrrvin, me lad!" Cud growled impatiently, "'Ow long are ye gonna be tweakin' wi' tha damnable system? Those Otaku punks might be here any second!" "I suppose I could rush the job, and destroy myself in a violent explosion of anti-matter, which under normal circumstances would be a plus to this job, but I have to complain some more to the Dark Prince before I get any such reward." "Accch..." Cud snarled, "Yer worse than me mudder!" Marvin then began to elaborate on how if Cud's 'mudder' were a sophistocated machine like him, then maybe he'd be worse, but in the interest of maintaining the reader's sanity, the camera zooms out of the engineering room to where the four Otaku Warriors were hiding. "All right," SU was saying, "Does everybody know the plan?" The other three nodded. "Ok, then, let's go!!" With loud battle cries, the four Otaku charged into the engineering room and attacked the two darkmoonians with a ferocity that would make Pook! proud!! SU and Bob tackled Marvin while Harold and Skuld attacked Cud. With a startled yelp, SU and Bob were lifted off Marvin and tossed to the floor. "Fighting is such a menial job for my skills..." the robot droned. "I agree!" Bob agreed, "Maybe you should just give up now!" "Maybe you're right. There must be literally millions of things I could be doing right now that would be a better use of my talents than beating the hell out of powerless Otaku...." Marvin said sadly. As the depressed robot began walking away, SU piped up, "Wow... That Pile of Bolts fell for it!" Marvin suddenly stopped. Turning around, the robot raised his arms and opened his chest, revealing 10 deadly missiles! "On second thought," he said angrily, "maybe I -will- kill you..." SU and Bob dove for dear life as Marvin fired all 10 rockets at them. Lucky for them, the missiles missed. Unlucky for the reactor, who couldn't jump out of the way in time, it exploded. *KAAAA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!* Cpu Voice: "Main reactor destroyed, emergency power activated." "Awww, crud...." Marvin cried, his arms falling limply to his sides, "Sapphire'll have my legs turned into pool cues!" "What a shame," SU said sweetly, holding a ball of Purple Death in her hand. "Don't worry, I'll mail you to him.... over the next few weeks." SU fired the Purple Death at Marvin, who simply opened his arms wide, welcoming the Death, even of the Purple variety, cause after all for a robot of -his- superior intellect, a more suitable color would have been-- Silence..... The sound of Marvin crashing to the ground.... More silence.... "Ha!" Harold yelled in triumph, scaring Skuld out of her boots. "Damn toaster..." Cud muttered, "Alright, laddies, time fer da main event!" "And how about -this- for an opener!" Harold yelled and unleashed his devastating attack! The others quickly covered their eyes. Cud simply squinted in disgust. "Ach," he said with a wicked grin, "Tha's not fanservice. Me mudder cood do tha in her 90's, 9 months pregnant, an' asleep!" "NOW GET A LOAD 'O WILLIE!!!" ... ... ... up went the kilt.... Silence...... The sound of Harold hitting the ground. Then the sounds of all the others screaming in gruesome agony as the image was forced into their minds like a branding iron. "MY EEYEEEESSS!!!" Harold screeched, barely coherent. "SOOOO GROOOOOOSSS!" Skuld screamed. "I can't breath!!" SU exclaimed. "rrrrrrooowww!!" T-cat choked as he clung to SU's face. "I can feel my eyes melting!!!" Bob yelled insanely. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Cud laughed evilly. "Aww, go 'way with ya! It's no more 'n nature gave me!" "Well... that and the nuclear explosion..." Cud corrected himself thoughtfully. "Harold!!" Skuld shouted in alarm as the Mutt-Minded Minakochanian began disappearing in a swirl of bubbles. "Nooooo!" Everyone gasped thinking Harold was just killed off in a typical Nephlitish way. Luckily for Harold, however, they were wrong. This was the result of the True Evil Plan of the Darkmoonians... and poor Harold was... absorbed into Continuity... < This Scene Switch has been deliberately left blank. -Scene Switch> The intense light of Korb's Sunpod Flash incinerated all the deadly Dragon Lilies on the basketball court. "NOOO!" Seedling cried, "My flowers!!! Why'd you do that for? Didn't you know they were sensitive to sunlight?!" "And excess water." Korb added, "Yep, you told us earlier." Seedling blinked blankly, then facefaulted. "Well then... in that case I'll just have to kill you MYSELF! SHINEI!!" Raising his arms, the vine-thingies on his back stopped swaying mindlessly and arced for the warriors. "Watch it!" Mr. K shouted and knocked Ferchan to the ground out of harm's way, unfortunately interrupting what she was about to say. By now Ferchan's author was probably getting a little miffed as the Authors' ploy was beginning to dawn on her. O:) "That was close. Are you ok?" K asked the Makochanian. Ferchan nodded. "That's good." The OSDF replied, "I need to find a way to help everyone else." He grinned when his eyes fell on a Rocket-Powered Hoverboard in the stands. "Kick Ass. This place has EVERYTHING." Ferchan facefaulted when she realized she just missed a chance to actually -say- something. "OW!" Kane cried as he was uppercutted through the ceiling 60 feet above them. Looking around, he found himself in a corridor. Nyakun gasped at the strength Seedling seemed to possess thanks to the nekkid flower on his chest. He growled at the Darkmoonian clone, "I dare you to try that with me." *KABAM!* "OW!!!" Nyakun cried as he was uppercuttted through the ceiling 60 feet above them. Looking around, he found himself... on the bridge! Just then, the lights began to flicker as Main Power failed and the Starship switched to backup systems. A 9 Volt Duracell. Seedling caught Korb's rocket and tossed it back at him. "I ain't falling for that again!" "How about this then?!" Mr. K shouted as he charged the plant at 40 miles per hour. "Nani?!" the clone shouted in surprise as K angled the board so he'd stop in front of his enemy... the flames of the rocket engine fitted in the bottom engulfing him. "NOOOOO!!!!" Seedling shouted in pain as the tongues of flames flew off him. "No fair using weaknesses!!!" He ran off the court in a hurry and dived into the swimming pools. < Sailor Kydria and Neo Sailor Khyron demonstrating how they're not alike. -Scene Switch > "SaiDaiKiuu Shi Chi Houkoudan!" RockmanX shouted, then released a high powered blast of Depression Ki at Pitch, his helmet and arm cannon were beginning to overload as the energy sparked and crackled around him, even tho the devices had -nothing- to do with the attack. "AAAAAAAIIIEEEEE!!!" Pitch screamed as the blast literally engulfed her. Even if she tried to dodge, she wouldn't have been able to, the blast was that friggin' wide. When it was over, Pitch had lost her colorization and 'henshin' as it were. The ki having purged the Evilization Energy from her body. RockmanX crumpled to the ground in a heap. "Chris!" Nic-chan shouted in alarm and flew up next to him. "No... problem..." He coughed weakly, struggling to give the thumbs up. Pitch looked down at her black hands, trying to resume its colorization... she failed... Her eyes flashed as she glared at the fallen RockmanX. She shot her left arm out like a bladed tentacle straight at him! "Northern Cross!" Polaris' energy attack severed the arm as it flew towards its target, knocking it off balance. "Annoying Bitch!" Pitch hissed at the OSDFer, "You can die too! ... Eh?" Something at her feet caught her attention, namely the light blue glowing circle that traced the floor around her. She looked up to see Nyagachillios' clenched hands glowing the same bluish aura. "Ja." he stated. Then he released the magic, and a magical geyser of hot water shot up around her. "AAAIIIIEEEEE!!! No fair using weaknesses!!!!" Seedling's body also flew up from the floor, went through her, slammed painfully into the ceiling, then slumped to the floor. Apparently Nyakun was simply transferring water from somewhere else on the ship. Pitch had instantly dissolved and flowed down the drains around the bridge. "WARNING!" The computer boomed, "Security system has shorted out. This means you can all find out about the approaching mech later." "Whew." Nic-chan whewed, "Looks like we've won..." "Yeah, we'll try to find the others after RockmanX and Brutus are feeling be-" Polaris stopped in midsentence when she saw where Brutus had fallen earlier... ... and saw only a swirl of colorful bubbles disperse... < Mord and Ortheo desperately searching for two people they hadn't used in scene switches -Scene Switch > SuperSteve, Leloni Bunny, and Lina were charging down a hallway fighting off the automated security systems... these being Automatic Wall-Mounted Plushie Blasters and the Darkmoon Heavy Object Thrower Patrol #307. They dodged or deflected the Plushifying Beams with whatever they could get their hands on. The hallway behind them was littered with kawaii darkmoonian plushies. "Look!" Leloni shouted as she pointed ahead, "The security systems must have been deactivated, the plushie blasters are powering down!" "Darn it." Lina sweatdropped, "That means we actually have to FIGHT the Darkmoonians now..." Dark Glen turned the corner just in time to be knocked forcefully to the floor by SuperSteve, "No matter, just keep running until we meet up with the others!" Dark Glen was still in a daze when he felt a furry paw slap him in the face. "That's for not coming up with a more original plan than those silly Sailor monsters!" Leloni spat, then slapped him again for good measure before getting off and running to catch up with the other two. Dark Glen just sat there and blinked for a second, wondering what the hell just happened. "*fzzt*Dark Glen, Get up here to *fzzt* Lab." The Dark prince's voice came through on his communicator, "My lat*fzzt*ice is having proble*fzzts*. Need someone to guar*fzzt* entrance." "Oooh boy..." Dark Glen sweatdropped as he got a very familiar and unwelcome feeling well up in the pit of his stomach... the kind of feeling that usually preceeds scenes where the bad guys ultimately get their asses kicked, but not always. "On my way, Sapphy." < Robin and Dion idly pondering about turning the last boss music of Final Fantasy VII into "Prince Sapphire's Theme". ^_^; -Scene Switch > "Hey! That Darkmoonian Cow just killed Harold!" Sailor Universe shouted angrily, even if she was wrong about him being killed. "YOU BASTARD!" Skuld shouted. "Well, I dunna remember havin' any parrrents, but if it makes you fell any betta!" Cud said, then raised his Cookie Launcher. "Look out!" Everyone dived for cover as Cud cut loose with a barrage of cookies. Bob, who was already being smart and hiding behind a doorway, saw his chance to do something. Looking down at his feet, he saw little KABOOOOOM-ohki cowering behind him. Smiling, Bob bent down and picked up the little creature. "Now, don't worry, this won't hurt a bit, ok? Just listen for my word." The cute creature nodded. Jumping out from the doorway, Bob yelled, "KABOOOOOM-ohki, I CHOOSE YOU!!" And thusly threw the cabbit as hard as he could at the already distracted minotaur. The cabbit squeaked in obvious protest at its abuse. "NOW! Transform!!" KABOOOOOM-ohki transformed into its massive spaceship form, still flying toward Cud at 70 km/h. "HOOOOLY SHHH--!!" *WHUMP!* Just before contact, Cud tried creating an Ethereal portal behind him to avoid the ship, but it appeared too late, and both flew inside. Inside the dimension, where KABOOOOOM-ohki couldn't hurt anyone, Cud became very nervous. He had no time to do anything however, as the big ship smashed him against everything solid in the dimension at sub-light speeds. *THUD!!* *BAM!**SMACK**CRASH**POW**KHUD**THUNK* As well as firing off its lasers at him. *ZZZZZZAAPP!!!!* *ZZZZZZAAPP!!!!* *ZZZZZZAAPP!!!!* *ZZZZZZAAPP!!!!* *ZZZZZZAAPP!!!!* From the same ethereal portal Cud had tried to use to escape, KABOOOOOM-ohki carried the beaten and unconscious minotaur through before reverting to its cute and cuddly form once again. "YES!" Bob exclaimed, after realizing that he finally kicked some serious ass, indirectly. "Well, we've done our part. It's all up to the others now." Skuld said, then sat on the floor to draw blueprints for a better interocitor. < Stan and Kyle wondering where the hell Kenny was all this time -Scene Switch > Dionysus finished eating his banana and tossed the peel over his shoulder as he ran. The Darkmoonian Light Infantry Patrol #10 chasing him and Frank down the hallway tripped on it and fell in a heap. "AH HA HA HA! NOW you'll die!" ChaosSapphire laughed as he suddenly appeared in the hallway right after Dionysus ran by... right in front of Frank. *CRASH* The two collided and rolled to a stop, Frank clutching the clone by the throat. He started slamming the darkmoonian's head off the floor repeatedly "NOW *BAM* IS *BAM* NOT *BAM* THE *BAM* TIME *BAM* FOR-" *click* CS desperately pushed a button on his remote. "Frank!" Dionysus skidded to a halt and turned around just in time to see ChaosSapphire and Frank fall down a trapdoor. "Ah dammit!" He turned and continued running. "Dionysus?" Kane pikued as he turned a corner to run beside the Minakochanian. Wow, the guy really did survive. "Yo Kane." Dionysus replied, "Has everyone else managed to infiltrate the Dark Crystal?" "Not entirely sure." Kane replied, holding out his glaive to behead a Darkmoonian Warrior that tried to stand against them. "The main power died and the security systems are history, so I can only presume the other groups managed to get in." "Excellent." Dionysus grinned, "We have to get to Prince Sapphire's Secret Lab quickly. His REAL evil plan is most likely there!" Screeching around a corner at high speed, the two warriors almost fell face-first trying to stop fast enough... Up ahead, a lone warrior was kicking the crap out of a horde of Darkmoonian Farfix clones. The broken remains of a large mech littered the hallway... and the nearby adjoining room. "Cape-Mike!" Kane and Dionysus hailed the Makochanian who turned around and wiped the sweat off his brow. "You're... late. What happened?" "Well, it's a little hard to explain, but to make a long story short, I needed gas." "It took you 6 chapters to get gas?" "Not many gas stations in outer space..." C-M grinned weakly, "Had to push." Kane facefaulted. "Well, you're just in time for the last fight anyways." Dionysus grinned and sweatdropped, "Let's just carry on to the Lab!" < Picturing Cape-Mike pushing his mech in space -Scene Switch> "Hey Korb, whatcha putting up?" Mr. K asked. "Some posters... I don't really know what possessed me to make these, but they seem appropriate." Korb replied and stepped away from the wall to admire his Dirty Work. __________________________________________________________ | | | | | [ Picture of ] [ Picture of ] | | [ Prince Sapphire ] [ Dark Glen ] | | | | He's his own He's a mean | | Baseball team! bastard. | | | | | | DON'T WASTE YOUR VOTE!!! | | | | VOTE FERCHAN AND PEPITO!!! | | | | | |__________(funded by the Donor Party Campaign Office)___| "The what party?" K blinked unknowingly. "That's what I'd like to know." Korb replied with a puzzled look on his face. Ferchan began to open her mouth when K continued, "WELL! We'll worry about that later on. Let's find the others!" < Mord being strangled alive by Ferchan -Scene Switch > Cape-Mike, Dionysus, and Kane came to a stop in front of the Dark Prince's Secret Lab. Dark Glen standing defiantly in their way, waiting patiently as Mord's cousin found some appropriate music to play for the upcoming battle scene. .... "Dark Glen!" Cape-Mike shouted when suitable bgm was found. "On behalf Minako-sama, your evil plans end HERE!" Dionysus threatened, extending his hand as the Morphing Old Broom melded back into existance. "In the name of Mamoru, I can not forgive your destructive ways!" Kane added, extending his hand in a similar fashion, although his scythe was already in it. "Heh heh heh." Dark Glen snickered as he unsheathed the DemonSword. "You think you can lay the smack down on me?! Well come on and TRY!" he charged forward. *clash clash* The four otaku began the most violent fight this oav has ever seen! Unfortunately, since our keyboard was smashed in the fight, nobody will ever see the exact details of the first 5 minutes... the time it took us to plug in the spare we had gathering dust in the closet. Cape-Mike yelped as his sword, the Jade Falcon, flew from his grasp to stick in a wall. Dark Glen snickered at his smooth disarmming work, but stopped snickering when the Makochanian caught his sword arm the second time around and flung him over his shoulder. The Darkmoonian rolled out of the fall with little damage, "Bah, I'm not letting you people get inside supposing I extend the oav to 12 chapters! DemonSword EVILIZE!" Everyone jumped out of the way of the blast... except for the innocent house fly that was buzzing unnoticed in the hall. It grew... it grew a LOT to say the least... It sprouted a blue sailor-skirt and bow... it looked HIDEOUS. Dark Glen facefaulted. "SAILOR INSECT!!!" "Hey all, I was wondering where yo-..." Nyakun, who was leading Polaris' group for now, started to say. "Nononononononononononoooo!" Dark Glen sobbed at the obviously useless Evilized Youma he created. Falling to the ground, he began slamming his fists and feet into the ground like a baby having a temper tantrum, "JUST ONCE!!! Is that too freakin' much to ask?!" "Missed again?" Polaris asked. *buuzzz* *SLAM* Sailor Insect hit Polaris at high speeds and trapped her against the wall. "INSECT!!!" It screeched, then began absorbing her energy at high speed. "Great Endymion!" Kane shouted in surprise as two of the youma's arms shot out, flung his scythe away and picked him up off the ground. "NO! MY ENERGY!!" he shouted as well. At this time, Sailor Universe's group rushed onto the scene. "A bug..." Skuld sweatdropped, then dove to the ground as it buzzed over her head swiftly. Polaris and Kane had both fallen to the ground. "Not good." Nic-chan muttered, helping RockmanX stand. "AH!" Bob Norom shouted in surprise as Sailor Insect turned a full 96 degrees and plucked him off the ground. "Noooo!! You won't take me that easily!" He shouted, stabbing at the monstrosity with his pocketknife. It bit down on his shoulder in response and started absorbing his energy. "Mmmmm. Tasty!" Sailor Insect cackled as it flew about wildly, using Bob as a club. Cape-Mike spin-jumped backwards, connecting his foot to the youma's face as it tried to grab him. While knocked backwards a bit, the youma wasn't hurt much and continued it's attack on other otaku. It was about this time a chute opened up in the ceiling and Ferchan jumped down into the corridor with Korb and Mr. K. She pointed excitedly at the creature even as Korb interrupted her by voicing her concern, "Another Evilized Youma!!" "Dionysus, get to Sapphire and kick his ass. We'll keep the bug and Dark Glen busy." Sailor Universe shouted. "Eh?" Dionysus snapped out of his daze of disbelief, caused by Sailor Insect's apparent success, and realized he was next to the door leading into the Lab. "AH!" SU shouted in alarm as Sailor Insect took the opportunity to pin her against the wall forcefully. "Oh ho ho, you do NOT take my energy, you sailor reject." she growled, grabbed hold of its neck, pushed off the wall with her feet and landed on the floor throttling the beast. Unfortunately, they bounced, resulting in Sailor Universe being pinned beneath it once again. "AAAAHHHH!" Dionysus opened the door to the lab, "Cape-Mike, let's get Sapphire!" C-M nodded and jumped back and the two charged inside, the door closing behind them... then locking. Meanwhile, Kane was slowly coming to his senses... 'Come on Kane.. THINK!' he said to himself. He tried thinking back to his childhood for something useful! The following flowed back into his conciousness: > Kane's father knelt down to look the 12 year old bald Kane > in the face. "Kane, you're as stupid as a mule and twice as ugly. If > any stranger ever offers you a ride, yooou take it!" 'Lousy miserable father.' Kane muttered then jumped to his feet, picked up his scythe, then slammed against the wall HARD as Sailor Insect flew into him again and began finishing off his energy. < Mord being strangling alive by Kane Magus. -Scene Switch > "Hey Dark Glen, could you pass me the monkey wrench while you're down there?" Prince Sapphire asked when he heard the door to the lab open. He was busy repairing something... something large that was beneath a large white shroud. "Sorry, we've already thrown the monkey wrench into your Evil Plans!" Dionysus shouted defiantly. "..." The Prince ...ed then sighed, "Why don't you just admit you've lost." "Us?" Cape-Mike replied, "We're not the ones whose entire base is rendered useless and about to get their asses kicked." "OH really?" Sapphire snapped, and turned around with a swish of his cape. "I don't think you understand exactly what's going on here!" At that moment, a circular section of the ceiling fell to the ground with a clang. Everyone looked up in surprise just in time to see a hairy dog-man jump down to the ground next to Dionysus and Cape-Mike. He looked like he was run over by a train. Twice. "You ok?" Dionysus pikued. "Oh just cheerful. This is just makeup." Kobanal muttered sarcastically. "Oh a Makochanian!" Cape-Mike blinked in pleasant surprise, noting Makoto-sama's symbol on the lupine's breastplate. "We'll definitely have to talk later on the Io-Omega!" "The what?" Kobanal pikued. "The base of operations for the Makochanians..." Cape-Mike replied, "You know... very powerful, big as a moon, highly popular place..." Kobanal shook his head. "Ano...." Prince Sapphire waved, "We were getting on with the big evil details..." "Yeah yeah, you were about to explain what was really going on." Dionysus muttered. "Exactly." Prince Sapphire cackled, "Think a moment. What were you doing before the attack at Wal-Mart?" "Why I was-..." Dionysus began to reply, but suddenly realized he was drawing a blank... "That's odd... I was sure I was doing something..." Sapphire cackled, "Not only that, what happened to the ELECTIONS?!" "Elections?" Kobanal pikued, "What elections?!" "There were no elections." Dionysus answered, "Nobody entered parties this year!" "WRONG!" Prince Sapphire laughed insanely. A minute later when he finished he continued, "A -lot- of people submitted applications to be the next President of Otaku World." Dionysus and Cape-Mike went wide-eyed, "Then how...?" "That's not all!" The Dark Prince continued, "Where's Chaos C-M?" "I... beat him... didn't I?" Cape-Mike blinked. "WRONG! I rubbed him out!" "How in the name of hell did you do that?!" Cape-Mike fumed, "It would take a small army of Otaku Warriors to take out that villain!" "With THIS!" Sapphy shouted and pulled the shroud off his Evil Device. Beneath it, was what looked like the largest crystal ball anyone had EVER seen! Inside the glassy surface, dark clouds swirled menacingly. "THE MOST OMNIPOTENT OF OMNIPOTENT DEVICES!!!" "So... what is it?" "The CONTINUITY REDIRECTOR!!" Prince Sapphire shouted in triumph, omnious thunder and lightning effects filled the room to add to the climactic moment. Everyone gasped, "A Continuity Redirector?!" "YES! I've had it rewrite continuity to suit the darkmoon." "No..." "YES! How do you think we've been winning all this time!" He pointed at them like they were idiots... then he realized what he said, "DOH." Cape-Mike readied the Jade Falcon and charged only to be slammed in the chest by a blast of nega-energy. "Not yet Mikey." Sapphire taunted him with a wagging finger, "After all, you should know that even as we speak, the Io-Omega is being repossessed thanks to the last bit of tinkering I completed before you entered the room." "WHAT?!" C-M shouted angrily. "And it wasn't YOU who defeated Chaos, I removed him from continuity in a spectacular public battle to boost my public image!" The Half-Mad Darkmoonian flashed a brilliant presidential smile that startled them all. "Even with that, Ferchan beat me in the ballots. So I used the Redirector AGAIN to remove them from the elections. Then the Otakucratic Party beat me in the ballots so I removed THEM from the election as well! Then ... ... so I said HELL WITH IT and removed them all!!" "Wait a minute... that would mean..." Cape-Mike gasped. "YES! I am the NEW PRESIDENT OF OTAKU WORLD!!!" Sapphire shouted triumphantly, "I even got a nifty badge to prove it!" Dionysus sweatdropped, "So you did all this just to be president?" "Well, at first, yes. But then I realized that I could get my revenge on YOU and all the other otaku who had been making fun of my poor writing skills and the like. Hey Cape-Mike... where's SIB?" Cape-Mike blinked, then realized that the bastard must have rubbed her out of continuity as well! Even tho she dumped him, she didn't deserve to go so... lamely. "YOU DIE!!" Lightning flashed at C-M's hand as he raised it in the air. "JUPITER....ROLLING..." He slammed his fist into the ground, "THUNDER!" The ball of lightning flew up in the air directly at the Dark Prince who jumped to the side just in time. The energy was absorbed into the Redirector harmlessly. "But... how did we manage to get THIS far if you were controlling continuity?" Kobanal snarled. "Who can predict continuity?" Sapphire shrugged, "It was set to determine the most favorable outcome for the Darkmoon, but apparently a minakochanian virus infiltrated it's cpu when the ThunderWuv hit it with that... what's it called again?" "Beautiful Thunder Cannons?" Dionysus asked. "Yeah, that. Never noticed it until recently, which is how most of the Dark Crystal was overrun so easily. But now it's been fixed for the most part, and it's time to kick your ass for the last time." Prince Sapphire pulled out a strange device. "Remember this?" "The Bunny Slayer!!" The minakochanian gasped. "Sort of. I've reprogrammed it. It's natural power source is a black poison crystal." Sapphire replied then turned the ray gun on himself, "So with the proper modifications, it's become an energy boosting gun!" He pulled the trigger, sending the equivalent of 47 million volts of nega-energy through his body. Laughing maniacally, he smashed the bunny slayer to prevent others from using the fiendish device. With a brilliant flash of darkness, Prince Sapphire's normal attire was replaced with a suit similar to Allen's alien suit from the Doom Tree Series, only jet black with gold trimming. "I... am..." "SIMILARIAN!!!!" "Whatever, GET HIM!" Dionysus shouted, and the three charged the now Omnipotent Darkmoonian. < 3 Scene Switches to go! -Scene Switch > When we last left Dark Glen, he was sobbing madly on the ground like a baby. "Nononononoonono... No wait..." DG looked around. His Youma was actually kicking ass! "I'm winning...." DG said, not really believing it. But the screams of his enemies continued to ring in his ears! "I'm winning??" He asked himself. Sailor Insect grabbed Ferchan and drove her into the wall. The ugly Youma quickly drained Ferchan of all her energy. The Makochanian opened her mouth to scream, then vanished in a flash of bubbles before she could utter a sound, the last of her energy taken. "I'm WINNING!!" DG yelled, nearly hysterical. The Youma just kept coming. The energy absorbed from the defeated Otaku were making it stronger and faster, almost impossible to defeat! DG decided to join in on the fun and kicked Nyakun in the face. At this moment, Lina, SuperSteve, and Leloni Bunny entered the fray. DG, still wide-mouthed from joy, was cheerfully jumping from one otaku to another, throwing random punches and kicks. "DAMMIT!" RMX groaned as he was kicked in the back of the head, "We need more room to move! Head back down the corridor, spread out!" Nobody listened. "Haaacch!!" Sailor Insect exclaimed, then said, "Patooie!" And hocked a large amount of slime at Nyakun and Skuld, who got caught and glued to the far wall. The slime began draining their energy. "Not this stuff too! ONE-SAMA" Skuld screamed in terror before flashing into bubbles. "Skuld!" Nyakun tried to exclaim, but his mouth was a little too full of slime to talk. "What the hell IS this thing?!" Leloni exclaimed, having barely dodged the Youma's deadly suction-cupped appendages. "Hee hee hee," DG twittered as he happily punched SuperSteve in the face. "We need something to stop that Youma from moving!!" Nic-chan yelled to everyone present. "Quickly, Nic-chan!" RMX yelled to his holo-love, "Go for its wings!!" DG heard the knell of his defeat and whipped around to face Nic-chan. If Nic-chan cuts off the Youma's wings, it'll be helpless for a few seconds, and that'll be more than enough for the gathered Otaku to kill it, which will no doubt cause his defeat....SO, he had to stop that hologram! Holding the Demon Sword expertly, DG got between Nic-chan and Sailor Insect. "Oh, no you don't you OSDF scum!" He cursed and charged the hologram. He immediatedly got blasted in the back by RMX's Rock Buster. Nic-chan jumped over the fallen Darkmoonian and quickly sliced the wings off of the Youma! "YES!" she exclaimed happily, "We'll win for sure no-" Her boisterous victory speech was cut short, however, as the Youma grabbed her and bit down on her shoulder, draining most of her energy in the blink of an eye. Nic-chan gave one last, pain-filled look at RMX, and while raising her hand weakly to her love, uttered one last.."Chris...." before bursting into bubbles and vanishing. "We can't let her sacrifice be in vain!" Polaris yelled. The extra energy made the wings regenerate. "Aw, CRAAAAAP!" Polaris screamed as her arms went limp. *SOK!* DG snuck up behind her and clubbed her on the back of her head. She fell unconcious. The massive insect fell on her, then she burst into bubbles. < "Revenge is a dish best served cold!" Mord snickers. -Scene Switch > The Morphin' Old Broom reformed into a shield with the Venus Symbol on the center just in time to deflect Similarian's bolt of nega-energy. At the same time, Kobanal and Cape-Mike were trying to swordfight with the darkmoonian on opposite sides! Not that it mattered much as the dark prince fended them both off while moving inhumanly fast. "Take THAT!" He growled, backhanding Kobanal off the platform near the Continuity Redirector. "Foul beast, you're nothing to me!!" Kobanal muttered sarcastically as he fell headfirst, "That sounds vaguely familiar." *CLUNK* Raising his right wrist to display a strange medallion with an exclamation mark on it, Dionysus began to concentrate. In response, it began to glow and soon someone appeared! Flexing his muscles, the Evil Wannabe Mage rubbed the back of of his bald head in rock-solid confidence. His scythe appeared in his left hand even as he pointed at Similarian with his right. "You Suck!" Kane Magus mocked the omnipotent darkmoonian, who just stood and stared at the pathetic Saikyo-ryu, then disappeared again in a flash of bubbles. Cape-Mike took this opportunity and disarmed Similarian with a powerful fist to the face... this naturally disarmed him as he picked his face off the rail, yes. "Got any powerful attacks?" Dionysus asked the lupine. "Yep, just give me a second to power it up." Kobanal replied. "Good, be ready to unleash it when I attack! We'll try to crack the Redirector by overloading it!" Raising his wrist, he concentrated on the medallion again, hoping it would randomly select a more useful otaku this time. At the same time, Kobanal sheathed his sword and began gathering up energy like Ryu preparing for a Ki fireball. After a few seconds... someone appeared! His eyes opened and flashed a dangerous shade of red, the inverted crescent moon on his forehead glowed beneath his blond hair. Quietly he began casting much to Similarian's shock. "KNOW!!" The Darkmoon Prince mispelt, then backhanded Cape-Mike over the rail. "Nobody touches the Redirector but ME!!!" He snarled and raised his hands over his head, gathering massive amounts of nega-energy into one great attack. "DRAGON SLAVE!" Nightman finished, and unleashed a massive blast of a different variety. "KAMEHAMEA!" Kobanal shouted, sending his own wave of energy at the Dark Prince. "Let the powers combine!" Dionysus shouted lamely as he formed a yellow globe of intense NC power in front of the Kamehamea and Dragon Slave. Sure enough, the two powers merged together but instead of the expected Overly Powerful Attack, the attacks were absorbed and the NC sphere began to shrink. "It didn't work?" Cape-Mike shouted in worry. "No! The merging just requires a transformation from the void to continuity!" Dionysus replied, "It'll produce our Big Ass Attack any second!" "HEEYAH!" Similarian shouted, sending down a massive bolt of black lightning at the otaku. Before it could get far, however, the shrinking NC Sphere suddenly flashed and shot out the most powerful electrically charged energy Dragon Slave anyone had -ever- seen... and lived to tell about. "AAAGGGHHH!" Similarian cursed as the approaching Ass Kicking Attack fought it's way up his high-powered black lightning beam. "It's working!" Cape-Mike cheered. It worked exactly as expected actually, shrugging off Similarian's energy attack and continuing on. "GYAH!" The dark prince shouted as the Hyped Up Dragon Slave engulfed him and slammed against the Continuity Redirector. "No!" Kobanal shouted, "The attack is being absorbed!" An intense light began shining inside the Continuity Redirector as it absorbed and converted the energy being tossed at it. Similarian, however, was unable to absorb the Ass Kicking Attack and did everything he could to shield himself. After a two seconds, however, his shield broke and he was tossed forcefully backwards. The Hyped Up Dragon Slave was something an omnipotent device like The Continuity Redirector could laugh at. Similarian's head, however, cracked the damn thing clean open. *KAKAKAKA-BOOOOOOM!* A shockwave errupted from the ruptured instrument of evil as it was forced to stop redirecting continuity. With it gone, the normal Laws of Otaku World said 'The hell with this crap. This oav has gone on friggin long enough.' in their own divine language and was finally able to absorb EVERYTHING back into continuity. The resulting shockwave imploded upon itself creating a pocket dimension where the stored Continuity became Discontinuous. "Gyah! A shockwave of Discontinuous Continuity!!" the warriors in the room cried as they dispersed into clouds of colorful bubbles. < The two authors shrugging their shoulders. "Well, this'll have to do..." -Scene Switch> Frank stood defiantly against Dark Glen, branishing two CDs in each hand. In the background, colorful bubbles were swirling all over the place as more and more otaku fell to the vicious youma. "Not many left Serving Boy." Dark Glen snickered, "I finally have the ultimate victory I've always wanted!! The DARKMOON HAS WON THE OTAK-" The shockwave exploded into this room as well and absorbed the remaining Otaku Warriors in swirls of colorful bubbles. The shockwave eventually hit everything else in the universe as well, but in the interests in cutting out irrelavent material, we won't go into the details. < Selphie's Ultimate Limit Break -Scene Switch > Silence. It's damn annoying. It's damn quiet! It's damn inappropriate after such an Ass Kicking Battle. "It's damn unending." Dionysus muttered, and opened his eyes to see the vast expanse of white void around him. "You said it...." Harold replied, effectively ending the silence... FF8 ending music began to play. "I've been here for hours!" "Doggie-chan? Yer here too?!" SU piped up, "Where are you? I can't see anyone!" "Did we win?" Mr. K asked, "Cause if we did, I want my money back." "So Close!!! DAMN YOU!" Dark Glen growled. "Oh shut up hoser." Bob replied, "It's all your fault anyway." "Urrr?" NecroMercury pikued. "URRR." IchiWaardoRepurai answered the worrying zombie. "It's like I always say." SuperSteve replied, "Omnipotence is baaaaaad." "HEY! That's MY line baka!" Sailor Ice Blade shouted. "Not this place again..." Kobanal sweatdropped. "W-" Ferchan began to ask only to have Goddess Otaku interrupt her. "Continuity has been restored." the divine one replied, "So get the hell out of here and return to Otaku World." "Ano... how do we do that?" Polaris asked. "Simple, just picture where you want to go and you'll go there." Kobanal replied. "Been here before... tried picturing a mc donald's... oi... I'll never do THAT again." Everyone sweatdropped, but did as he suggested... and one by one, everyone and everything soon returned to Otaku World... memories of this horrid adventure intact, but the effects of the Redirector removed... where desired. On the Io-Omega, for instance, Cape-Mike was happy to discover it was not being repossessed. On the Henshin Space Buster, RMX was relieved to find out it was undamaged. Frank, remained Frank... he liked that form better thankyouverymuch. Tokoz, still suffering from amnesia... still forgot that she had a human form. ^_^; Dionysus arrived on the Artemis-P Space Station, his golden endymion-style Armor fitting mighty fine. Memories of the NC-Janitor within him. Rooks and Raven were asleep at the time, and returned to the Bottomless Pit by default. As for Kobanal, he finished burying Kenny, hoisted his thundersword over his shoulder, then started walking in a random direction. And everyone lived happily ever after... Right? In the Dark Crystal, Similarian (yes, not Prince Sapphire) slowly got to his feet next to the ruined omnipotent device. "DAMN." he cursed, "Even when I'm -unbeatable- I get my ass kicked!" Dark Glen entered the room at that time. "Well, Sapphy... the bad news is... we've lost. The good news is... we've gained a kick ass base and two new recruits!" Similarian sweatdropped, "True... not to mention some funky powerups for me, EW and Seedling. Let's go collect them and put them in the regeneration chambers." He walked sadly down the ramp and the two Darkmoonians slowly walked out. "Hey Dark Glen..." the dark prince sniffed sadly as they walked down the war-torn ship, "We almost won this time... didn't we..." "Yes..." Dark Glen nodded solemly, a slight smile formed on his lips, "Yes... we did." The scene fades to black.... T H E E N D Well, of the oav anyways. :) THE CAST *Chibi Ferchan jumps from a plothole to land next to the scrolling credits list* "Over 60k of text and I get ONE bloody line?! I'm freakin' talking, and there's nothing you or your evil cousin can do about it!" "But but..." Mord pikued, "The oav is OVER." CF punched him in the nose. "I don't CARE!" -=-= Minpire =-=- @----->>--------- Tuxedo Dionysus NC-Janitor "I'll kill you later. Both of you." ChibiFerchan muttered. Artemesian Warrior Frank "Well, I guess I can forgive Frank, since he never really kicked much ass anyway." she moped. Sailor Universe Rooks Raven "Just between the two of us, I think Tim just wanted his characters killed off to ensure he had more lines than I did!!! You should rewrite those chapters just to show'em!" Brutus CF snickered, "Four chapters?" Korb "You're dead for interrupting me." Harold Lina Tenchi "THIS pissed me off. Tenchi actively REMOVED himself from continuity and HE GOT MORE TO SAY!!!" T-cat "Oh hey, Dymion is finally listed with the minakochanians!" T-cat meowed happily. "Stuff it Fleabag." ChibiFerchan muttered and stomped the being with immortal yet unused powers through the ground, "This is MY time dammit!" The South Park Kids "Do NOT get me started with these..." / Darkmoonians \ ==-==-==--==-==-== Prince Sapphire/Similarian Dark Glen ChaosSapphire Pitch Seedling Marvin Esmerodian Warrior Cud Haggis Esmerodo "MOST OF THESE DON'T HAVE BLOODY AUTHORS!!!!" @--->>---Endymionsamaian---- Kane Magus "Ok, Kane was funny at least when he was starving to death... He's forgiven." T-chan Pikachu Mamoru Tuxedo Mask "Hehehehe. Loved the torture scene." CF giggled innocently. Author TK|M [-Outer Senshi Defense Force-] [--------------------------] SuperSteve Sailor Polaris "About time I kicked some ass." Polaris stuck her head out of a plot hole, "Took 9 chapters, but I finally did." :P "Shush! My time only!!" CF shouted and punched Polaris back into the hole and zipped it up. Nic-Chan RockmanX *sniffs* "Kawaii tear-jerker scenes..." *blows nose* Mr. K "You're dead for interrupting me." Nyagachillios "You're dead for not replying to my email." The Ferret Insanity 4 Makochanians 4 4----------4 Kobanal Ferchan Cape-Mike Leloni Bunny "You know, the entire Makochanians were rather underwritten in this oav." CF spat, "You'd think you'd have included MORE of us since we ARE your allies and whatnot." :P An anvil dropped on her with a message stating 'Not our fault there aren't that many Makochanians.' :) Although AngelBlack and Star Guardian probably could have been of some use. -=-= Others =-=- Bob Norom KABOOOOOM-ohki Tokoz Sailor Person/Sally Clone *-* The Undead Things *-* *-----------------* NecroMercury IchiWaardoRepurai "SHE'S DEAD!!!" CF sobbed, "DEAD AND STILL SHE SAVES THE DAY!!" Darkmoonian Youma of the Posts ------------------------------ Sailor Happy Face "I don't know what you were on when you wrote that chapter..." Sailor Pokemon "A damn pokemon?! Why couldn't you evilize ME! I'd have made such a COOOL Big Bad Evilized Youma!" CF puffed up and tried to act viciously evil, and failed as chibi people are by default too cute to be evil. Sailor Picnic "I don't WANT to know what you were on for this..." Sailor Dragon Sailor Insect "A housefly? You killed me off with a HOUSEFLY?!" CF sobbed kawaiily. The Extras ------------------------------------- Luke the Nameless Soldier Darkmoonian Bullet Bill Patrol Legion Farfix Clones "The damn darkmoonian patrols said more than I did... And they don't even have NAMES!" CF growled, "You are in MAJOR trouble when you log on the damn channel Niichan. You and that evil cousin of yours!" -- Tuxedo Dionysus & Kobanal Thiwarden *inno*